ALL ABOUT MENTAL HEALTH Collab Idea from Sammie Wilson from Small YouTubers Community

First of all, I want to take the time out of my day as I am writing this to thank Sammie Wilson from one of the many YouTubers groups that I am in to let me write all about Mental Health. I can’t thank her enough for sharing a little bit more about herself and some of her writings that she personally shared with me, I can relate one way or another.

DISCLAIMER: This is going to be a disclaimer, trigger and content warning for you all right now for those of you who are reading this right now as I share this in advance that some may offend you to what I am writing for you to read based on my life story and truth yet needs to be shared for others to know that they’re not alone and that with saying this that I am giving you all my experiences, knowledge and some hopefully sound advice through it all. I am writing this right now from my heart to open up to you all and invite you all on my journey so far into what I’ve been through as you’re all or some of you are aware that I’ve shared some of my stories on my channel on YouTube called Aspie Answers- Life of an Aspie”

I thought to bring this out of the reasons behind in why I’m doing this and this is not to dwell on the past or anything like that or even seeking any attention like behaviors from you all or even just sympathy. I just want to share with you all basically that this is hopefully to engage with you all, support you all in a way, hopefully  that you can walk in my shoes as I walk in your shoes and actually experience the pain, insecurities, fear and so much more in which I went through in the past life .

I want you all to know that I am no medical doctor, I am just your everyday Jo Blogs and if you know someone who’s struggling or showing any signs and symptoms to any of the previous videos I have shared based on these topics and more, I advise you to seek help either for yourself or for your loved one for whatever reason it may be for example some medical help and/or assistance.  As I can’t stress this enough as I have shared this so many times before.
If you see any people that you know of that you care about are showing signs and symptoms of anything of the previous videos based on mental health, do seek professional help for yourself or your loved one or even seeking second opinion for yourself or your loved one because I don’t forever condone self-harm.


MISSION STATEMENT

What are you wanting to gain from the experience?

As far as I can remember I have been dealing with my own demons and traumatic experiences that I went through in the past and still to do this day it’s an everyday battle. My demons of anxiety, social anxiety, panic attacks, anxiety attacks along with so many others to name a few. They are a part of me yet I don’t let this rule my life or let it overtake my everyday thoughts and everyday actions to what are needed of me to do or even accomplish. I will not let these rob me of my joy, goals and dreams that I have got.

I want to be able to share with others my stories and experiences as I’ve already done so through my book, channel and through my writings on here in my private space of my blog page. I want to share with others that there is HOPE and that it’s not the end for them. I believe we are here for a reason and that purpose yet it’s up to us to how we deal with our everyday struggles as some are there to teach us some life lessons along the way through the good, bad and the ugly. I also believe that we are the creator, writers, artists etc. of our story. I believe that no matter what we go through, that we should be able to make the right choices to know what to fight of our battles and what to leave alone. I’m one of the many that has decided that enough is enough and that I thought to voice out for others that hasn’t got a voice yet. I was the many that decided that I wanted to share my stories and experiences along with also advocating, mentoring and educating others. Certain types of mental health conditions we face are an epidemic and a worldwide problem. Yet, we can be the solutions to the problem if we choose to. Alongside from all of this, I wanted to help people as much as I can and where and when I can when I am needed for example through my blogs or even just through my vlogs I share on YouTube or anywhere for that matter. I’ve always been passionate about health and mental health is just many of the few passions of mine. I would like to see that the stigma/stereotyping of mental health but not just mental health to be banished for good. I believe that we are starting to make progress in this front yet it will definitely take time. As they say that you will need to build an army to fight a war and to win one.

Despite my everyday personal struggles with the demons clearly mentioned now that I go through in my life, I want people to understand and be well aware of the effects and tolls of what mental health does to someone or even have on that person. As we know that there are many different side effects/symptoms that will vary from person to person as they go through their own person mental health conditions and they may range from example headaches, tiredness, weight gain/loss, no energy or motivation, not eating and the list grows and continues with other hosts of symptoms/side effects.
I’ve also seen and heard some of the everyday struggles that others may go through and some of the ones that I really knew just gave up and ended up taking their life due to their demons that were haunting and taunting them. Along with this decision that they made, this was due to no one was listening to them or knowing the signs before the alarm bells rang and sound off to say that something isn’t right. The ones that took their life were the ones that weren’t taken seriously enough as they thought that they were living a lie, they felt that they may have been a burden to others that were in their circle and with them that others around them thought that they were just crying out for attention due to what they’ve done to themselves. The ones that are suffering in silence that did decide to take their lives in through all of their mess or hell that they were living in that they felt that they were being judged by others, rejected from others and asking for help from others where they needed it the most that they felt so helpless and useless. Some of us that go through these battles of our demons will try to deny them all and put a mask on and to brave out our day and to try and continue our day like a normal person.
It’s a sad fact and reality to what we are living in as I believe that we go through so much and that from what we’ve been taught or what we read is that we don’t  need to talk about our problems or to show them or to just harden up and forget about it all etc. etc. Yet, this is the wrong way of thinking and belief pattern we have ingrained in us that we need to rewire our thinking patterns and make a stand as this is a problem/epidemic happening worldwide.

I hope to also gain as much knowledge and skills as they say that knowledge is power and what we do with that knowledge again is up to us by choice. We shouldn’t have to be silenced from whatever we’re facing even though yes we should be thankful for having social media and some platforms where we can reach out to others and that in saying this that this can create a positive or negative result/outcome for us all. I feel also as my hope not to feel judged, laughed at or whatever it is as just to come to someone and feel accepted, loved and wanted.

Questions:

  • Why are you so passionate about mental health?

Honestly, there are a lot of reasons in some that has already been answered and that it is similar to my mission statement to what you’ve just read, because I see, hear, and read about everyone’s personal struggles of the life story with mental health.
Here in New Zealand where I am, the healthcare services for health and disability is improving yet there’s still a long way to go. I am not trying to bash the medical system that we have along with what they do for the patients into just giving them everyday medications as we know that by choice that is up to you to take them and also to know what to do with our lives and not to rely on the medications given that it will make us better. Sometimes, with the medications that are given some people aren’t told of the side effects of what likely to happen. So, it pays to know what we’re taking and how much is too much. We know that there’s no quick fix or magic cure for mental health conditions yet again it’s up to us by choice to how we are going to manage our everyday life Meds may help eventually however in an acute setting it’s near impossible to get the patient to take meds so non-invasive techniques are utilized more frequently it’s not just one thing that contributes to de-escalation, and each situation is unique therefore there isn’t just one way to deal with things and the sane technique may not work twice.

Here in an article written from the Ministry of Health in New Zealand, this is what it reads briefly of an article/report that they wrote:

By measuring our performance against international benchmarks, we can see that New Zealanders usually get the health care they need when they need it and that most New Zealanders are generally happy with the health services they receive.1

Among New Zealand’s strengths are:

  • a publicly funded, universal health system with a committed and highly trained workforce
  • health services with a strong focus on primary care and a widely supported focus on wellness
  • a unique public health and no-fault accident compensation system, which serves the whole population throughout their lives
  • a strong desire for health and social services to work better together
  • local decision-makers in district health boards (DHBs) who are well positioned to respond to community needs and integrate services
  • a growing best practice evidence base developed through research
  • Māori and Pacific health providers, connected to their communities and modelling integrated approaches to health.

… And connected to a changing world

New Zealand will always be geographically distant from the rest the world. But we are now more connected with it than ever, as people move around the world, technology markets become global and the internet spreads knowledge and cultural practices.

This international context will continue to shape New Zealanders’ experience of health. It means our system needs to be aware of developments and effectively draw on and absorb global ideas and evidence.

Global challenges

  • Health and social services must be provided to increasing numbers of older people who are living longer.
  • The health burden of long-term conditions, such as heart disease, diabetes, depression, dementia and musculo-skeletal conditions is growing.
  • Benefits need to be assessed in light of affordability as new technologies and drugs emerge and expectations about health services rise.
  • The global workforce is highly mobile.
  • New infections and antibiotic resistance are emerging.
  • Climate change has health and social consequences.

We face challenges

‘Given New Zealand’s ageing population… it is critical that the health system includes in its planning specific actions to manage this demographic change.’
–Non-governmental organization

New Zealanders are living longer, and every year, more of us are aged over 65 years. This is good for individuals and their families. But it does mean social and health services will have to adapt, and it challenges the health system to find ways of providing services that are still affordable.

Keeping an older person healthy and independent can involve more health and social services than are needed for younger people. Older people are also more likely to have a disability and to have more than one health condition. We want a health system that supports people to live longer but also to spend more of that life in good health.

Dealing with long-term conditions is a particular challenge with an ageing population. Dementia is one example. We expect the number of New Zealanders with dementia to rise from about 48,000 in 2011 to about 78,000 in 2026.

Obesity is becoming more common and has long-term health and social impacts. Among New Zealand children as a whole, 10% are obese, but the rate is 30% in Pacific children.2

Some of New Zealand’s population groups do not benefit from the health and disability system as much as others. For example, while New Zealanders overall are living longer, Māori and Pacific peoples still have lower life expectancies than the population as a whole (see the graph below). People with an intellectual disability can also expect to live for 18–23 fewer years than others.3 Disabled people generally experience worse health than the rest of the population. 29% of disabled people rated their health as fair or poor compared with only 4% of non-disabled people.4 Children are another population that may not access the health services they need because they depend on others for that access.

Life expectancy at birth, by ethnic group, 1950–2014

Source: Complete New Zealand Period Life Tables – time series summaries: Life expectancy by age
and sex, 1950–52 to 2012–14
 from Statistics New Zealand.

‘The cost of providing health care in a way that adequately meets current public demand is becoming prohibitive and … we will quickly fall behind the developed world in this important task if we persist with the current model. It is unsustainable.’
–Non-governmental organization

New Zealand’s total health and disability spending is about $18 billion, or about 9.5% of gross domestic product (GDP); this covers spending in the public, private and non-governmental organization (NGO) sectors, including ACC expenditure.5 As a percentage of GDP, the total is slightly over the OECD average but consistent with most OECD countries. New Zealand is unusual in that taxpayers fund most of its health expenditure – about 7% of GDP.6 Health makes up about 22% of government spending.

The cost of providing health services through the current model is unsustainable in the long term. The Treasury estimates that, if nothing were to change in the way we fund and deliver services, government health spending would rise from about 7% of GDP now, to about 11% of GDP in 2060 (see the graph below). It is essential that we find new and sustainable ways to deliver services, investing resources in a way that will provide the best outcomes possible for people’s health and wider wellbeing.

Projected government health spending as a percentage of GDP

Source: Health Projections and Policy Options for the 2013 Long-term Fiscal Statement from the Treasury.

An independent review of New Zealand’s health funding system7 noted three ways in which funding arrangements sometimes prevent resources from being used to achieve the best possible outcomes.

  • Present arrangements may not clearly show the results that we get from health spending, making it hard to prioritize funding or take into account long-term, cross-sectoral benefits from investment.
  • When demand changes, service mix and design may not change quickly enough to deal with it. Often our funding and contracting arrangements encourage health services to keep doing things as they have always done them, instead of allowing them to work differently.
  • Some funding arrangements contribute to disparities between groups in their access to services, and sometimes they widen the gap in unmet need.

New Zealand’s health workforce also faces challenges. It is ageing – 40% of doctors and 45% of nurses are aged over 50 years.8 it also has a large unregulated workforce (numbering about 63,000), including care and support workers, or kaiāwhina, who often have limited access to training. Many of our workforces have trained overseas – 42% of our doctors, 32% of our midwives and 26% of our nurses. This means we need to continually invest in training so that our health workforce has the skills needed to meet the health needs and expectations of caring for New Zealanders.

New Zealanders’ needs and expectations are themselves changing. These changes are happening not only because the population is ageing but also because it is becoming more ethnically diverse. In Auckland, for instance, around 39% of residents were born overseas; Asian populations are growing the fastest and now represent almost one in four people living in Auckland, New Zealand.

… But we have many opportunities

By focusing on preventing illness and by making healthy choices easy, we can help people either to avoid developing long-term health conditions or to slow the development of those conditions. An important part of this focus involves providing universal health services and public health initiatives that cover the whole population. In addition, tailored approaches are needed for some individuals and population groups so they can access the same level of service and enjoy the same outcomes as others.

In New Zealand, we have a strong and growing knowledge base, developed from research, about what contributes to good health, from birth into adulthood.10 this knowledge will be an ongoing resource to guide policies that help children to start out on pathways for healthy growth and development. Early intervention can help prevent some health conditions that can occur later in life.

We can keep expanding our thinking about who contributes to health by tapping into the skills of individuals, families and whanau, communities and businesses. Building stronger partnerships with them will help us to do this.

Like other sectors, the health sector can benefit from advances in technology and related infrastructure such as broadband. When routine tasks are automated, skilled staff can focus on what they do best. Sharing information in appropriate ways across organizations and with patients and families and whānau can let us know who is missing out and what isn’t working so we can change it.

In summary, our healthcare system may be functioning well enough today, but we can’t guarantee that it will be tomorrow. This strategy provides an opportunity to improve our health system and wider social services, so that in the future we are better able to support the health and wellness of New Zealanders. A key to our success in making these improvements will be our ability to work together. (Reference: https://www.health.govt.nz/new-zealand-health-system/new-zealand-health-strategy-future-direction/challenges-and-opportunities)

One other reason behind why I am so passionate about mental health as well as the other areas that I am working on my channel and blog page is that I know and understand fully what it is like to go through our everyday life with our demons that tries to haunt or taunt us in anyway it can as well as being empathetic, compassionate, loyal and caring. As some of you who knows me that majority of the time, I put others needs first before my own which I now need to learn to say no and work on me before I worn out.

Question 2: How would I help the person with mental health if it was a family or a friend?

In answer that if they came to me for help or just someone to talk to that is the start of building a trust factor between us. I will then therefore access the situation that they are in. Find a quiet place for us to sit down and talk so that no one isn’t around. I will be sure to pay my full attention to them into what they’re about to say and only them by switching off or silencing my devices such as my cellphone and computer so therefore no distractions. Walk in their shoes (empathetic not sympathetic). Start off by relating to them and to again as mentioned earlier that they’re not alone as this is normal. It takes time and will get better eventually. Take it day by day. No need to rush whatever you’re going through. Let them talk, vent and what to see if they want my input of my own opinions or not. Yet majority of the time they just want someone to talk to and for someone to listen. Along with just wanting to be heard.

Question 3: What advice would you give to someone that is dealing with mental health?

What they’re going through does get better and that they not alone in this. Just be saying and reassuring to them that I am there if they need me to talk or vent etc. is sometimes more than enough. Yet, however, in their everyday personal struggles they go through for it to get better, they will have to want and have the desire for it to get better. As again we all have choices and that it’s up to them for their choices as I can only do so much for them to help them. Let them know that they’re loved and wanted by others around them and that they’re not any labels that others may have labelled them as. There are ways- so many ways to the way mental health affects us but it’s up to us to find ways or methods to change our perspective etc. to move forward.

PERSONAL FACTS ABOUT ME

  1. As you are aware after reading my blogs or story I wrote along with doing my vlogs I have shared with most of you what I go through. I will write it again for the ones that has landed on my page and is new to reading this is that I suffered when I was a teenager psychosis along with social anxiety, anxiety, Aspergers Syndrome, panic attacks, anxiety attacks just to name a few.
  2. Do I take any medications on a day to day basis?
    No I don’t take any medications yet I do other methods to keep my mental health and general health in check which is meditating, yoga, Pilates, exercise, dancing, writing, singing, vlogging, positive affirmations, gratitude writing and so much more to at least distract myself to not dwell too much on my demons.
  3. No I haven’t yet been through counselling through my mental health yet in the past I did some counselling for other personal reasons for a time. It was okay for a time as it did help me a bit.
  4. I do make daily goals for myself everyday even if I don’t fully achieve them then that are okay. It is okay to fail once in a while as well as falling as this teaches us what we need to do and work harder for striving for our goals that we have set to achieve. I believe everyone’s journey is different and it’s not a race at all. We shouldn’t race to the finish line as we should all enjoy life and its processes.
  5. I keep myself motivated by gratitude and waking up in the morning and knowing that I am forever blessed to have all the small things I have even if my health isn’t in great condition sometimes. Just knowing that I am alive and kicking. Knowing in myself that I am the only one that’s in control of my life and no one else is. I am the one that choose to do what I want to do as every day starts with us by choice into what we want to do and accomplish. Sometimes, also what keeps me motivated is just hearing what others go through and what they do in their everyday life to survive is more than enough for me along with maybe if I hear some of my favorite songs I will sing and dance to them. Just to know that I can love myself along with being at peace in myself. I also believe that if we have the right attitude and mindset along with the right people to support us that this can go a long way also.

Well this is the end of what I want to share with you all and that there was so much more yet I hope you’ve enjoyed this read.
Thanks for reading this.

Much love

Aspie.

 

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Scars

Scars

I know that there are times when in our lives that we try to do what we can to hide our pain, fears and darkest secrets so that no one in this world need to know what is going on or even how we are really feeling. You fear that you may get judged or criticised for what you know in your heart is right and then the world is telling you that you’re going the wrong way. You know that in your heart that you are craving for something that you wanted for so long – no matter what it maybe. Maybe you’re looking for love. Maybe you’re looking for respect. Maybe you’re  looking for forgiveness. Maybe you’re looking for hope. No matter what it is that you feel that you’re losing a never-ending battle for what you want. No matter what you feel that you’re not going to be able to come out of your shell ever again to what you want to see the world in a different light. I have found this to be true with me! Many times, I have felt this way myself,  believe you me. I know that no matter what was said to you that you felt you were living in a dream. You felt that you were maybe living in a darkest moment of a nightmare and felt that no one would hear you or even care about you enough hence you gave up on what you thought you knew in your own life/world. I have tried to connect in many ways myself and that no matter what that people may say to me it is all in my head. People may say that I am only lying to myself and to them to how I feel. They’re not me! I know what my reality is! I know that despite the pain and everything that I have felt for so long that I need to find an escape. I need to find a place where I can feel safe and secure. A place that I can call home or even a security blanket that can wrap me up  warm. I know that I don’t need to validate my feelings or even share what is on my mind as some part of my world is suffocating me right now in spirit! Yes people may think I am a drama queen. Many people may think that I am crazy. I am just doing what I feel is right for me and no one can do it for me only ME. I am the one that is in control of my thoughts, feelings and emotions. I know that there will be a time that maybe I need to let go of what I once knew or what was once was. Letting go of some of the baggage or even some of the thoughts that I try not to think of is a MUST. Letting go. Need to be free from the pain and everything that didn’t belong to me..

 

 

 

Goodbye 2017 Hello 2018/2017 Rewind

Goodbye 2017 Hello 2018/2017 Rewind

I know that this one is really late of my entry yet I had to take the time out to reflect onto what is it I need for me- just me! I have been obviously in past few years looking out for others interests and that now I need to be sure that I am looking after myself.

I did a video based on a montage of what my year was like for me in 2017 to give you all an inside look to my life of what it can be like. I do have my good and bad days like you all. I try to take the bad and make it into something real and positive.

To watch it, the link is: https://youtu.be/uSE8nICUic0.

Afterthought:

There’s nothing more beautiful than just the way how nature shows and graces its appearance and beauty in all its beauty and form. While it sleeps and chooses to grow throughout every season continues to smell the fragrant air, hearing the birds and sounds of nature in amongst it all.

There’s nothing more wonderful than as we walk along the cold and smooth sand as the waves comes rushing at our feet while in time of the tides of change as well as seasons of change comes thereafter a change that takes place in us. Yet, as we know that the sea doesn’t forever change as the sea awakens and returns to us once more to us in hands of love, peace, hope, sleep and serenity. As well as my empty and broken soul upon your swift lips.

It’s quite funny and imaginable yet in reality that we were or once lived in the past and keep on being alive and yet was trapped, I am now alive and free to live in the now. Living in the moment-our moment to conquer, our moment to breathe, our moment to shine, our moment to fight, our moment to rise, our moment to fall, our moment to succeed, our moment to fail. 

Now, you’re alive and breathing, you’re living in the NOW.  Now as in your souls, spirits and minds. Not letting the mind control you. Take a real deep think or look around at this time last year as you’ve come this far in your journey of life and doing better than you ever were and could have done possible. Yes, you may have had some doubts about what you can do and can accomplish but besides all of the odds you still achieved it. It wasn’t about YOU. It was your turn to lean on someone in whom you trust and believed in and you’ve proven time and time again you’re not a little child or a little girl anymore. You’ve proven that you’re grown up and mature and that you’re grown into a young woman of who you want to be and how you want to be. In saying this, that you’re learning from your past mistakes and learning to let go of what was and never can and would be- letting go of some of the expectations that has been put on you – learning to stand up again when you’ve fallen- Learning to forever be patient in what’s to come. The fog and dark clouds of self doubt that was whispering in my ear of the pure white lies for who and what I am but do I choose to listen? Do I choose to invite them in my life ? The thing that is most wanted from many of us is wanting to be cured or fixed but do we want to be? Yet, the truth is I’m all that I’m becoming – A young woman that’s more aware and alert of the changes in and around me and to accept any changes and challenges that lies ahead.

No turning back now- Time to move forward and strive for my greatness. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Let’s Talk Aspie: #AUTISM AWARENESS VS. ACCEPTANCE- REPLACING AUTISM AWARENESS WITH AUTISM ACCEPTANCE. P2

Let’s Talk Aspie: #AUTISM AWARENESS VS. ACCEPTANCE- REPLACING AUTISM AWARENESS WITH AUTISM ACCEPTANCE. P2

Hi all, I was and have been pondering how quickly last year flew by. A random thought popped into my mind. We are now in the month of April which is dedicated for autism awareness month.

Other individuals will display their personal autism symbols be it a logo colored gold or a symbol that displays a multicolored prism of the rainbow to symbolize the individuality of the autism population. I am several months ahead of myself here but decided to present some early food for thought.

Personal beliefs aside, I propose changing autism awareness month to autism acceptance year. I will now present and share with you all my reasoning behind this statement.

Autism awareness, what does this really mean? Logos, colors and symbols that represent autism awareness are prevalent during the month of April. People equate the symbols with the autism spectrum. However, being aware that autism exists and comprehending what the autism spectrum is composed of, the challenges faced by families, children and adults who live with autism 12 months out of the year is a totally different and pressing issue.

For these individuals, autism awareness does not end when April comes to a close and all the symbols and autism awareness programs that are plentiful during April disappear and society at large goes on with their daily lives as autism awareness month becomes a distant memory in their minds. For individuals living with autism and those that love them, autism does not end in April. They are extremely aware that autism exists because the challenges connected with the autism spectrum are enmeshed in their daily lives. It is a lifestyle for them that defines how they live. Individuals who live with or have loved ones on the spectrum have gained awareness through experience. They perceive autism from the perspective of life experience which is quite different then equating a logo with autism and leaving it at that.

Awareness’ is resultant from knowledge. They say Knowledge is power. Knowledge can only occur through interaction and engagement with individuals and families on the spectrum and educating the public at large numbers. People tend to fear the unknown due to lack of understanding and knowing. Understanding and knowing are two different terms here. Let’s be clear here. Through education and interactions fear is diminished and a level acceptance is created. Tolerance should not be an ultimate goal either, as tolerance merely means that society tolerates a certain population. ie People tolerate mosquitoes at a cookout yet find them annoying at the same time. People on the spectrum and their families are human beings who should not merely be tolerated but accepted and embraced as meaningful members of society.
Lets create a better society where autism colors and logos are equated with action. Support and seek out to understand the challenges of those on the spectrum by spending time with them. If you are a neighbor of a family with a child on the spectrum, stop by their house with a coffee for the parents and visit them to chat for a while and get to know the parents and their child with Autism. These families often feel isolated, they often feel like outsiders in today’s society and the parents would welcome visitors who wish to chat with them.

Take their child out to give parents a break. Encourage your own children to include kids on the spectrum in their play. Inclusion is what any Autistic would want as well as acceptance for who and what they are despite being different. Yes, even if your child must adapt their play to include a special needs child. In doing so you will teach your neurotypical child a life long lesson, respect for others differences. Offer to babysit so parents can spend much needed one on one time with typically developing siblings, spend time with their husband, or merely allow a sleep deprived parent to take a much needed nap.

An increase in educational programs would provide a venue to educate the public. Schools incorporating special needs education as required parts of their curriculum, all parents attending required special needs presentations at the beginning of each school year to gain an understanding of the challenges facing kids with special needs and required in-services on a regular basis for educators. Perhaps students could be offered a course where they are paired up in class with a student on the spectrum which they mentor and engage in their activities throughout the year. I realize we have a minimal amount of voluntary programs like this across the country. (The majority of these programs focus on children) Considering the inclusive environment we live in, I would propose this special needs program as mandatory for graduation. It would prove to be a valuable as all kids will go on to work in companies with differently abled individuals as adults.

Aside from educating society on the challenges of families and individuals on the spectrum ,we must also shine a light on their capabilities and abilities to do more. Everyone learns through experience, not merely digesting factual information. Towns could start photography clubs, art classes, writing workshops, dance competitions that display the talents of people with challenges and their successes. Interview them in the local newspapers and display them as productive members of society, not merely individuals and families to be pitied. They do not want your pity, they wish for understanding and acceptance. Through this action, society at large will open a venue for society to understand and appreciate the talents special needs individuals embrace and not merely see them as being destined to be supported by society. You see, with your help they not only support themselves but live work and play side by side with neurotypical individuals who embrace them into society.
Education programs within colleges, polytechs, universities or even secondary schools across the world would prove a prudent move to increase autism classes offered as mandatory within their curriculum. Schools and life in general is so inclusive now that there is an increased need in assisting future educators by squelching myths and misnomers and teaching the educators of tomorrow how to hone the skills that people on the spectrum posses. They are no different than you or I. They wish to live a fulfilling life just like anyone else
Include individuals on the autism spectrum when offering presentations. After all, who knows what it is like to live on the spectrum than an autistic individuals themselves. Invite parents of special needs kids to speak at presentations. They have lived experience and would prove to be an asset providing knowledge and experience that cannot be found on Google.

Offer to drive an individual on the spectrum who has no license to school, the store, doctors appointments etc. Highlight the skills of an autistic individuals who may excel in math, English, science and more by inviting them to tutor a neurotypical individual who struggles in that subject. Remember, and individual may struggle with specific academics yet excel in others. By turning the tables we focus not only on their deficits but challenges as well.

Neurotypical authors of books on the spectrum could hone the artistic skills of an individual on the spectrum to illustrate one of their books, thus providing an opportunity for experience and employment. Allow someone on the spectrum to write the forward for your book. After all, if you are writing a book about the spectrum, shouldn’t you include someone with lived knowledge that a neurotypical could not possibly possess?

The opportunities to increase understanding regarding the autism spectrum is only limited by your imagination. What will you do to help someone or their family on the spectrum this year?

Autism Awareness month is now upon us. What is awareness really all about? I will start by posting a definition of awareness that I have mentioned in mentioned in my video as well.
According to the Merriam Webster Encyclopedia, awareness means: “knowing that something (such as a situation, condition, or problem) exists”
Knowing that something exists, is not quite the same as fully supporting the issue. An example would be that we may see a homeless individual on the street and feel some empathy for there dilemma. This is an example of awareness of a situation. An individual may express concern for the homeless person’s situation, yet walk by them and go about their day. Rather then walking away, the individual who acts upon their concern and offers the individual a cup of coffee, etc. has learned from their level of awareness and used their knowledge to take action.
This said, I will not focus on whether an individual wears the color blue, which I am aware many individuals connect with Autism Speaks and present negative connotations towards this group. I do not care if an individual is wearing blue, orange, gold, or polka dots for that matter.

We may or should be surprised and find that the meaning of wearing blue for one individual during autism awareness month may not fit ones preconceived notions. I attempt to look beyond the colors and witness the individual’s actions and character as first and formost.

In not doing so, I would be presenting myself in a judgmental fashion akin with grouping African Americans, Asians, Caucasians, Indians, etc. into a preconceived belief system. Example in point: All Asians are not smart, all Indians are not rich because of casinos, all African Americans do not play basketball, and all Caucasians are not money hungry baseball lovers. I would be acting in an archaic manner and stepping back into another century where prejudice ran rampant in harboring these notions.

In the same fashion that “if we have worked with one autistic individual, we have worked with all autistic individuals” This is a phrase that I personally abhor as there is a reason it is called the autistic spectrum. It is called a spectrum because there are many different degrees of autism. This ideology is an example of a preconceived notion as well. Individuals on the autistic spectrum present with varied personalities and needs, just like typically developing individuals do.

To take the idea of preconceived notions a bit further. One may assume a color is symbolic for a group or belief. For another individual, that color may symbolize something totally different. I will continue to favor the color blue because it is symbolic of something very different in my eyes.
For me, the color blue symbolizes promise. As I peer into the clear blue sky I see winter is fast approaching after a bout of rain and weather yet I can smile and be at peace to know despite these changes there is always something new to learn and remember. I see a beautiful blue horizon that has taken on a distinctly sharper more vivid hue then was evident in the winter sky. While peering at the Spring sky, I see promise of green grass coming back to life, the return of birds tweeting outside my window.

In conjunction with autism, I do connect the blue horizon that extends for miles into the atmosphere and over the ocean with realization that the autistic spectrum forever knows no boundaries. As the horizon is spread across the whole world in areas where our eyes cannot peer, the autism spectrum holds secrets that we cannot see. It holds the secret to individuals futures that we cannot see.

We do not have a crystal ball, tarot cards or anything that will try and predict the future for that matter. i.e. a child that was not supposed to speak, ends up doing so, a child who’s parents were told to institutionalize them suddenly gains an awareness of their surroundings that no one expected, the child who was not supposed to toilet or self feed independently miraculously does so. As the horizon connects us all together although we are not aware of the activity on the other side of the world, our children have a future path that we are not aware of.

As you can see, blue possesses a different meaning for me then it does for someone else. Lets get to know each other before making judgments. Focus on the advantages of autism awareness month. Breed awareness through your actions not preconceived notions. A color will not change the world but making a difference will. Help a family who is overtired from caring for children on the autism spectrum. Help the family do chores, watch their special needs child so they can get a few hours of uninterrupted rest or enjoy a cup of coffee alone at a restaurant.

Help an adult on the spectrum who cannot drive by giving him a ride to work or elsewhere. Offer to help him or her compose a letter if they struggle with writing skills. Teach a parent support class, offer to teach life skills for free to transitioning young adults. These are mere examples of focusing on not only awareness but acceptance and education for the autism spectrum as well.

Last but not least, do not stop with only making contributions during autism awareness month. Continue helping society to become accepting and a place where all on the spectrum can live, work, love and play 12 months of the year. For families and individuals affected by autism, autism awareness is a 24 – 7 life for them.

Parents, families and individuals without Autism are affected by autism will still be living with it after April is nothing but a mere memory. As families and individuals live with autism seven days a week, let’s make a pact to stay action oriented seven days a week as well as throughout the year. Keep your focus on the goal. When there is no more blue what will you do?

In summary: Autism Awareness month is April 2nd yet it is celebrated through the whole month of April. What is awareness all about?
According to the Merriam Webster Encyclopedia, awareness means: “knowing that something (such as a situation, condition, or problem) exists”
Knowing that something exists, is not quite the same as fully supporting the issue. An example would be that we may see a homeless individual on the street and feel some empathy for their dilemma. This is an example of awareness of a situation.

With all that being said, I will now and forever wish you all a happy AUTISM ACCEPTANCE YEAR. Please do remember, the autism symbols, colors and declarations of autism awareness will become a distant memory on May first for those who do not have loved ones or live with autism. For those families like mine, autism is something we live 365 days a year. Remember to continue, advocating, assisting, attempting to understand those who live with and interact with those on the spectrum daily. These individuals do not get put in a draw in may to be released next April. They are your co – workers, neighbors, classmates and hopefully become your friend.
My hope is may we all grow, interact, respect and gain a better understanding and appreciation of one another this year.

Much love

Aspie

Burning Bridges Series: Part 1

Burning Bridges Series: Part 1

I am wanting to share with you all right now as I am writing/reading this message that I would love to share with you all that has been on my heart. I know that for one that you may have already heard it from me when it comes down to it through my channel if not- I recommend that you can view it for yourself to what I am sharing.

For now, this message that I am writing/reading to you – to me is important like many others and what I read/write to you all is really up to you. NO shame if you don’t choose to read/listen to what I have to say to you all. This one could be for you or someone that you know and that needs to hear this. Don’t forget to share it to them. I am sharing this one from my heart with love right now. I am not here to drag anyone of yous down as I have no time for that or even the need to do so. I am here to motivate you all, educate you all, inspire you, encourage you and more.

I just want to tell you today that if anyone that hasn’t said this to you today or for a long time that you are an amazing person. You are beautiful and smart. Right now, I am asking you a favour from you all that is going through something that is painful or is holding you back to burn down some bridges that doesn’t need to be there in your life regardless what it may be- toxic friendship/relationship, abusive relationships, anger and hate that you been holding onto for quite sometime for whatever reason it maybe and more.

I want to also ask with this favour to burn the bridges that have stopped you from seeing and believing in yourself, seeing and believing that you are an amazing and incredible person. I believe in you and that it is time to burn these bridges right now to what I have just shared just now that will bring you out of depression, oppression – brings you back from any forms of addictions that you may have, brings you back to self-hate, burn that bridge that has been bringing heaviness to your heart. Matter of fact – Burn every single bridge that I am sharing with you right NOW that has prevented you to see how truly beautiful your life really is. NOW IS THE TIME THAT WE NEED TO ACT OR EVEN CHANGE OUR SITUATION. NO MATTER WHAT IT IS Perhaps it’s that painful situation that has happened in your past that you haven’t fully let go of that’s still manipulating your life that makes you feel unimportant in this world that we live in today. A live where we live that we have to at least be someone that we’re not- A world where we should just fit in – A world where we should be number one no matter what – A world where we should only care for ourselves and excuse my term “Fuck you! Fuck the world!” Burn that bridge! Remove these type of thoughts also as this is not how we should be living our life right now. Maybe it’s a certain mistake that you have made or even making that wrong choice in your life that has held you back for so long that is swaying you right now in a rip/wreck yet when you should be living your life with appreciation- Burn that bridge. Maybe it’s those moments of abuse of any kind however that has programmed you to think and act a certain way in life that you’re worthless and hopeless etc- that has been going on for too long in your life and that in that mindset of yours that it has been that time when you feel you had to self-doubt yourself about everything in your life and to what you do and think etc- that is a total lie! You don’t need to live in that lie!! Burn that bridge! Listen to me to what you have been feeling or thinking most of your life that doesn’t have to exist anymore as you are more to what you think or say or do in your life no matter what others may think about you all that matters is how and what you feel about yourself…this doesn’t have to be in your life anymore that doesn’t have to exist in your life anymore- Because if you choose to still have this feeling and thoughts in your life as you’re injecting low self-esteem along with sadness, hopelessness – you can’t or shouldn’t have to allow or continue to go on this bridge or as I call it the path of destruction to destroy you in anyway as well as to allow it to continue to pen/write that story of yours- you know that you are worth more than everything that the world/life can offer you right now- we all need to understand that there are some bridges that are made to be destroyed and let go of –burned as these are the things that you can’t afford to go back to these in your life – so if this bridge isn’t leading you closer to the Spirit – then stop crossing this bridge of destruction – if that bridge isn’t leading you closer to any smiles – stop crossing it! If that bridge isn’t leading you closer to any peace and closure- stop crossing it! If that bridge isn’t leading you any closer to love – stop crossing it! Straight up people! You have a plan and a purpose in your life. You have a calling! You have a destiny! It is all a matter of believing it for yourself. I will leave you with this before I end this video- when we keep these bridges in our lives that I have just briefly mentioned they need to totally be burned or getting rid of – will we need to cheat our hearts from the bridges that needs to be let go-It all starts with you – keep moving forward no looking back – find the right support from others- keep moving forward to the point t that no one or nothing will hold you back or knock you down and out of your course in life – Live it – Be it- Breathe it- and never ever let anyone tear you down or even steal your smile, peace, love and hope.

To the many friends who has left me because of my Mental Illness

To the many friends who has left me because of my Mental Illness

I am going to be real and transparent to you all who maybe reading this right now and if need be to expose almost everything out of the dark skeleton closet. This letter I’m reading/writing to you all who is reading this is one of the many that are the hardest to write to date to really expose my thoughts and feelings. Yes, I’ll admit to you all that sometimes I can be a pain in the arse or whatever yet it’s not fair or even good to even try to label me with everything under the sun. Why? Because that will just strip me from everything that I have been working myself on and that I also have hear them all before and I am doing best to be the best I can be for ME. Yet, let me tell you that these labels doesn’t deserve to be put on me as they should be put on the books or even on glass jars.

I know that there will be people that will come and go in our life for a time, reason, season and a purpose. May be they are there to expose us, to tear us down, to build us up. Yet, whatever the reason- or terms of events of some situations that we do personally struggle and go through in life of what we may face and what we go through will sure as hell test us who’s real and who’s going to be there as well as having our backs right to the end of tim. This can be a test also based on TRUST. Trust for me has always been hard for me to remain as to whatever it may be that the quote I lived by is this: “Trust takes years to build, seconds to break and forever to repair.” I do find it hard sometimes to trust people in my circle, so if you come in and then I start to open up to you my worst and dark fears along with secrets. Congratulations. I am now entrusting you with my life to trust you for whatever I share with you will remain between us til that time comes if need to reveal or share it to the world.

As I write this to you all and while you are reading this – I want to say this from the bottom of my heart thank you. That is the truth that is all I can do right now just to thank you. I want to say thank you for being a part of my life when you did decide to come in and be there for a time, season, purpose or reason. I want to say again thank you for leaving me and making me a stronger younger woman despite it being a real and scary as well as an emotional rollercoaster. I have now opened up my eyes wider and to see deeper to realise that all of this has to be done for me and me only. MY CHOICE ALONE NOT YOURS. I have now opened up my eyes wider and to see deeper to realise that this step I am making for change is for me to get better in myself in all areas – mentally, physically and spiritually.

Yes I’ll admit again that this can be the hardest decision you and I will ever have to make to date while having a mental illness to constantly seeing people that walk in and out of your life but at the same time this gives you and I a chance and opportunity to reevaluate and think about our relationships. If you were not ready and able to handle me now at my worst then you’re sure as hell not ready or so don’t deserve to be there at my best.

I want you to know while I sit and write/read this to you that mental illness is real and it’s not fake. You may or could get or have some type too. But, let me tell you that brains like any other organs we have are beautiful and that they’re responsible for so many tasks to do. And like any other organisation of the body or system – they can and will get sick. The fact is about our minds that it too becomes sick yet it takes years to notice before it starts to manifest into something else. When it does finally arrive and come knocking at our door to make its presence known, you might be able to minimise the pain for a short period of time or a short while without anyone noticing as we try to hide it as best as we can and not to show how and what it feels like but after holding or suppressing it for so long, it comes back like karma and a boomerang that keeps on returning and never leaves.

 

Too people around you- it’s like a quick and sudden change of moods, thoughts and attitudes all in a quick 360 in a short period of time and space. But in fact, it has been there all along- just real slowly and deeply stabbing you like a sharp dagger.

 

At some point in your llife- depression can and get so bad to the point where we just want to stay in bed due to the lack of motivation and energy that has been drained out of us or even to the point where it comes when we brush our teeth it becomes a choice and not a chore or part of a routine. Eating our meals of the good three times a day routine is nearly impossible and can go out the window as well as keeping up with homework/schoolwork or just general work that we do everyday can be and will be or become a challenge. Maintaining friendships is also a difficult task. I expect you to understand how I feel some days after to what I have been sharing pen to paper or in this case keyboard to screen or even just by watching some of my videos to share my life story.But, all I can do again is hope since you may not have experienced mental illness then again maybe you have but at some point in my life just being there for me can be more than enough as well as important as in talking to me and keeping in touch with me everyday. A call or a text message will be greatly appreciated as you took the time out of your day to see how I am and what I am doing.
What I do know and understand is this- in how hard it is not to have people in your life that you can turn to or to reach out to that you thought you were your best friends, confidant and more. You thought that you could seek out and just talk to them. What I do know and understand is that any mental illness of any kind doesn’t or can’t define me. What I do know and understand is that I will not invalidate myself just because of my mental illness or beat myself up if I have already lost a few friends along the way or even try to cry myself to sleep or worry about it. I believe I shall and will become better- I shall and will win the little accomplishments that I have made I should be forever grateful for of what I do everyday- Just being able to be in the moment. To breathe, live, love, laugh, dance and sing along with any other activities I love to do to build me up and look deep down to find out who and what is the real me.I shall and will keep practicing or continue to practice self-love and self-care. I shall and will seek help when I’m ready and when I need it. I wont let this stigma of mental illness win.

 

Aspie 🙂

GOODBYE 2016- HELLO 2017

GOODBYE 2016- HELLO 2017

I know that this is a late entry to share with you all on what I have been thinking as the year of 2016 is now over and that we should be looking into the changes needing to be done in 2017. Changes as in like maybe resolutions that has been fulfilled and achieved yet. I know for me that there is a lot of changes that has been happening for a long time and that it is a matter of just sitting down most of the time to relax, reflect and rewind.

What 2016 and many past years has taught me so much especially through all my difficult and trialling times as some of you will know what I have been through of late and that in saying that it has taught me so much more as I grow as a person- spiritually, mentally and physically. As we all grow that yes life has it’s lessons to teach us through our hardships as well as the times that we are winning. Believe you me- I have had a lot of setbacks/throwbacks from all shapes,sizes and forms. Yet, life is all about accepting what is and what isn’t along with appreciating with what we have got in our lives by counting our blessings as well as seeing what we have got is well worth it.Don’t get me wrong –  I still make mistakes now and then like any one of you- yet at this point of time I don’t need to be reminded of some attitudes that you think or beliefs that you think that needs to be changed as my own spiritual and personal growth is for me to decide what needs to go and what needs to stay.. As saying goes- time for throwing away some old trash etc.

I am still learning some of the most precious life values and morals to this day but I still have them inside of me.
I have now started to not be too hard on myself yet that is the hard part as always have done to strive for success and perfection. Yet, there’s no such thing as perfection right? How would I define perfection is the action or process of improving something until it is faultless. Yet, I believe to this day that I am still a working progress in myself with God’s Hands moulding and shaping me to be the right and perfect woman for the guy that will come into my life and show me more than what I know and never thought of dreaming it to be real.

I am now starting to also beside not being hard on myself but to keep trying to learn to love myself and be at peace within myself. Yes, this sure as hell has been a hard one for me yet I am getting better with a lot more practice. Self love like anything will come over time. Sure I still have my bad days but I still try to take it one day at a time and to accept myself. In the “Five Languages of Love.” by Gary Chapman- He himself shares with the readers about how to give and recieve love and they are as follows:

1. Words of Affirmation: Think Self-Love

*Practice daily affirmations. Our thoughts precede our emotions and behaviors.
*Recite mantras that encourage self-compassion. Bring your attention to being good to yourself.
*Journal your strengths and everything about you for which you are grateful. Document everything you accomplish, feel good about, do right, like about yourself, etc.
*Keep your self-talk positive. Turn down the volume of your inner critic and choose to be your best coach or cheerleader.

2. Acts of Service: Do Self-Love

*Prepare healthy meals for yourself. Put thought and effort into grocery shopping and meal preparation.
*Create an organized, clean and aesthetically pleasing home environment for yourself. Love where you live, even if on a budget.
*Schedule regular physical, dental and mental health check-ups. Address any health concerns in a timely manner if they arise. Without your health, you have nothing.
*Groom yourself with love and care. Put yourself together so that you feel like the beautiful person that you are.

3. Receiving Gifts: Absorb Self-Love

*Buy only what you love. Don’t allow things in your home and closet that don’t bring you positive vibrations. (While you’re at it, purge that which does not bring you joy.)
*Gift yourself with an experience on your bucket list. Always wanted to sky dive or go whitewater rafting? Budget it out and plan it. Enlist the help and support of friends as needed.
*Invest in your education and advancement. Want to pursue a higher degree? Take a cooking class? Learn how to be a yoga instructor? Do the research, apply for grants and scholarships, volunteer to learn new skills. Gift yourself with knowledge.
*Treat yourself to the wisdom and perspective gained from travel. Limited funds? Consider volunteer or service work or pooling together resources with friends and traveling on the cheap.

4. Quality Time: Be Present with Self-Love

*Set aside time for daily mindfulness practices such as meditation, deep breathing or progressive muscle relaxation. These devotions will help you connect with your highest self.
*Make time for leisure and hobbies. Time for play and enjoyment is an important aspect of celebrating the gift of life.
*Prioritize sleep and exercise. You must reboot and revitalize your physical being.
*Do not over-schedule, over-book or over-commit. Your life is worth more than being a gerbil on a wheel…

5. Physical Touch: Feel Self-Love

*Stretch your muscles and give yourself a massage with a foam roller. Relax into your body.
*Release toxins by taking a hot bath with epsom salts. Release the stress and soak in the love.
*Moisturize your skin with lotions or oils. As you touch your skin, thank each body part for all it does for you.
*Give yourself a spa treatment: manicure, pedicure, facial, deep conditioning treatment, etc. Know you are worth extraordinary care.

Self-love is a journey for all of us. It takes dedication, devotion, and practice.  We need to resolve to love ourselves each and every day and watch our best self blossom and your greatest life unfold! Self-love is an exponential force.This is what I am trying to do with myself in some parts to what is shared in the process of self-love. 

 

Next one I admit is still a bit of struggle and that is patience. Yes every one does have their strengths and weaknesses to whatever it is that they are doing and that for sure is me. I have been impatient for some things to happen in my life for the better and for the good. I always tend to challenge and question myself to why is this happening to me? When will the __________________ stop? and so many more questions that does go around my head. But, I have now learnt that sometimes in all good time I shall receive my reward. It is all about time and more.

Friendship. Now, again one of my many struggles is trying to keep maintaining some friends in my circle yet again, there’s not many in my circle anymore. I have come to realise as we grow older and wiser that sometimes most of the time to what we go through will test us to see who will remain there. Yet, for whatever reason to why I have lost a lot of friends along the way that is fine by me as I know that there are always situations that will change regardless of all this. I know also to what I am going to say will be more said based on my next entry is that with my mental health I know that they have left me and sometimes it can be so lonely and dark without having people around me since I am the kind of girl that tries to strive to at least have her self independence. I also want to at this time to thank the ones that has come and gone in my life as this has taught me so many things. I am not going to be forever bitter towards the ones that has been gone for a while now. I made a choice to some parts to know who I should keep in my circle and who not to keep. The ones that will uplift me and support me. I only have a few people that I do contact on Facebook and other social media sites now and again that I could call acquaintances or friends as I have met some in person. Yet, in saying this however that I feel more at ease just to try and talk in front of the camera or even just to sit and write like I am doing now.

Forgiveness and letting go- This one did take forever to learn yet now I am starting to not show any signs of bitterness and hate towards people in my life as well as just letting go of some situations that was holding me back and not even bringing me any good fruit. I know that there will still be times that I will have my bad days and good days – yet it is how I will approach it.

Controlling my feelings and emotions- Now this is sure as hell the hardest one of the lot. Despite that majority of the time, I believe that I am a strong person and that I don’t show that much emotions yet there is a breaking point for us all. I do believe that I may sometimes let it slip for a time too despite my little meltdowns and how I control all these is again by choice -UP TO ME. No one else. I still learning this sometimes. Especially when it comes down to it I am now trying to learn to speak up and out about somethings that are unjust and unfair. Then, somedays I will get slapped on the knuckles (*figuratively speaking).

So, much more to share yet that is fine by me as this is some of the areas I would like to share with you all for now.

Aspie.

 

Never Judge a book by its cover

Never judge a book by its cover

Never judge a book by its cover because you don’t know what lies within its pages. No matter how good or bad its cover may appear, you have no idea what that book has been through. Many books have been misjudged just because the cover wasn’t appealing. But if you would’ve opened it up and read a few of its pages, you would have realized this has wisdom, knowledge and was put together with care, and a lot of time and patience was put into constructing this book. Still many continue to choose their books based on the way the cover looks. Once they’ve purchased this book and opened it up, its pages are filled with useless words and meaningless expressions. It’s not a book they would normally read or want to read, yet alone recommend to anybody else. Now this book just sits on the shelves with all the other books with cool covers, while the book that didn’t appear to be any good, is being passed around for all those willing and wanting to read this book that is filled with so much wisdom. As the Bible says “Don’t judge others unless you want to be judged.” Because you never know what that person has been through, where that person has been, what that person has seen, or what is in that person’s heart based on appearance, until you have taken the time to get to know that person. Unfortunately, you just might walk past a person who could make a difference in your life! Never judge a book by its cover! –

Accountability

Accountability

No matter how hard it is in life we need to realise that we are the ones that are fully responsible and accountable for our own thoughts, feelings and actions. We can’t blame any girl that we may have got in our lives as we’re not the ones as a job to make you happy as we are all in charge of our happiness, future and destiny.
Never blame your wife/girlfriend or friends if you get frustrated, angry etc at her as the only reason behind this is that there’s something that’s triggering inside of you and only YOU. They’re your emotions and responsibility. When you feel these feelings take time to get present with them and to look within yourself and admit that something is wrong and ask yourself that it’s only YOU can heal yourself and you’re attracted to this woman for a reason and that reason alone is because she’s best suited to trigger all your childhood wounds, scars and emotions as she knows what pain is as she endures it more than we realise. She’s there for a reason and that reason also is to be there so that you can get healed from them if you choose to get healed. When you’re healed within yourself and no longer triggered by this then you’ll begin to wonder why you over them in the first place. FORGIVE IMMEDIATELY and focus on the future rather than carrying all the weight of the past. Don’t let your history hold you hostage. FORGIVENESS IS FREEDOM and CHOICE.