What do Autistic People need now is ACCEPTANCE – (World Autism Awareness and Awareness Week,April 2019)

April 2nd 2019, was the day of Autism Acceptance or Awareness Month. I want to be real and honest with you all that I do tend to struggle with this month of what we
do for people with Autism as there’s been so many different opinions of what this month should be called. Question is that we need to ask ourselves should
it be called, Autism Acceptance Month or shall it be called Autism Acceptance month?
I believe that now in 2019 that there has been a lot more of Autism Awareness more than basically Autism Acceptance.I believe wholeheartedly that a lot of people are now aware about Autism or should be at least knowing what Autism is really about as there
has been so many people advocating for this and much more. There has been as I am aware that alot of awareness has been spread around on social media and many other ways as well.

As I have shared in one of my videos about an organisation that many autistics and anyone that has heard of Autism Speaks that has been dehumanising us Autistics by
trying to find cures and creating fear on some parts to what they have been trying to send as messages like Vaccines causes autism and yet, it is now been proven
that this isn’t the case anymore as more studies has been researched about this. I have also shared this in one of my videos which you can watch here.
(Reference: Autism and Vaccines/Is there a link? )https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KANmvPfxrE4.

*Reference: This is a quick brief history of Autism and Vaccines to gain a better understanding as well.*

Especially with the ones such as Autism Speaks that many autistics don’t wish to hear about to raise money to “raise awareness” on this day. I won’t try and get into too much detail to why this is as you can watch this video I made above me to find out more to why that is: (*reference: Aspie Let’s Talk- Why WE SHOULDN’T support autism speaks- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MOdgoXz3pkg).

I don’t light it up blue like many of you that may do but that is okay as that is your choice as I decide to try and go for a color like red or gold to light up or wear as a form of acceptance in April *that is if I can find my clothes in these colors- little laugh.I would like to try and allow this month for me as an Autistic as a month of Autism Acceptance because yes we all do have a lot to do with Autism Awareness and that there’s a lot of it being spread.
I believe now is the time is the best time as any to have as acceptance. I believe that this month should be shared of Autism Acceptance not just in April but all year round. I believe that we should now start to accept others that are on the spectrum no matter where they are in their life and to accept everything about them in who and what they are not just as autistics but as a person. After all, we all have our strengths and weaknesses – just like you neurotypicals. I believe it is time for us to start accepting that are going to grow as Autistic Adults and for some that will need to stay away from some of the dangers of certain testing of empty promises of cures. There are often times that as we know that there are some dangers and that sometimes I have found that some people still maybe in oblivion
that people with Autism needs to be get rid of as if we are a disease, we are broken and can’t be fixed etc. Yet, again that goes back to what I was saying about being accepted as a whole of our everyday flaws and imperfections.

Advocacy as you know by now from me is what I am aiming and striving for as much as I can on my channel to remove the stigma and stereotyping along with creating a platform of mine that is based on acceptance and inclusion from all people in all walks of life
especially with people like me with Autism. I have heard from some parents, carers and more that there hasn’t been much of a way of us Autistics
being included and accepted in everyday life. I have heard that many people are saying either autistics that are either high or low functioning gets all the
attention and I believe that not many people are aware or educated enough about the more severe cases of the ones that has autism. The ones for whom that they can’t
seem to speak for themselves so that they have their parents or carers to speak on their behalf.I believe that there are a lot of people that should be now aware of that there was a diagnosis for people that was under the umbrella or spectrum called Aspergers Syndrome which this is what I was diagnosed with but
now it is classified as Autism as well.I mentioned a little bit about the Diagnostic Manual in this playlist which you can watch here:
( Reference: *https://www.youtube.com/watchv=Z5SXTqMHEXs&list=PLD1nCoeovTZ410885hWwrshBsfIFbqvXC)

Image:
https://www.growingyourbaby.com/scientists-develop-genetic-formula-for-detecting-autism-earlier/asd/

The four different types of autism

Note: Not all children, young adults and adults will have the same characteristic traits.*

I have also mentioned about the differences about Autism Spectrum Disorder or as what others wish it to be called Autism Spectrum and Aspergers which you can check it here too- Reference- High Functioning and Low Functioning Autism/What is the Difference https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gSmhWW4gZ1c.

I am forever grateful that I’ve spoken to some autistics in the community to hear their stories as well as watching some of them on my channel. I am forever grateful that I can relate somehow in some way to what they go through of their everyday struggles. I know
that we all have our own struggles that we have to face and that this doesn’t mean others that aren’t autistics go through struggles of their own. Heck! Of course,
we all do. It is all about how we go about it in our everyday lives about how we act and think about it all. We need to ask ourselves or each other what can we do to help others on the spectrum. Some of the advertisements, posters etc that are trying to raise awareness isn’t helping many autistic adults,children transitioning into adults or even families that has children on the spectrum yet mainly it is the autistic adults or teens especially that need to be focused on more.I believe that there’s a need to do more in that area of awareness as we grow into adults that some of us autistics does require more help and assistance.
I believe that we need to teach people that having autism or autism in general isn’t that scary. It isn’t a disease. Teach others that people with autism aren’t monsters or that they aren’t broken as that need to be removed of that way of thinking.We need to teach parents to get a diagnosis of Autism early and having that label is an actual great aspect. Because, it can open doors of opportunities if we are given that chance to shine and to prove to the world of our gifts that we have as autistics. This can also help open doors to many resources that we may need to assist us in our everyday life as well as meeting our full potential. I believe that as shared earlier to remove, smash the stigma and stereotyping that comes with having Autism. That won’t happen until other people’s attitudes and thinking about us Autistics starts to change and again accept us for who and what we are!
I can’t stress it enough that we all need to try and find a way to smash out the stigma and breakdown walls of stereotypes once and for all. We are in 2019 and there’s a need for change in everything that we do and say towards one another. I believe that we need to help one another and to be kind to one another to understand and accept each others differences no matter who and what they are – Autistic or not! We shouldn’t have to live in a world where we should think and act the same way.
We are all born different and that we all have a voice and that we were all born to stand out if we choose to live our lives differently. Yes, it can be difficult
for us autistics especially trying to live in a world of expectations of how others wants us to be. We all have gifts, talents and a purpose in life. It’s all about
what it is and what we are going to do with it all. Not all brains work the same way. Maybe, we all should band together now and focus more on acceptance than awareness.
But, if you are spreading awareness let others know that autistics are awesome! People on the spectrum often will and have faced challenges in life no matter what.
Like with some of the characteristics of autism communication difficulties, socialisation difficulties, making friends, reading body language. This is just some of the
traits that they may commonly show yet not all autistics will. We shouldn’t ignore the difficulties that they face yet to embrace them as well as their flaws and so
much more. We are a part of your community regardless of this label. We are here and we are a part of you! We deserve the right to be here as well as you guys.
As the quote some of us live by “No different, no less!” rings true.This has been touted by the autism community as a widely recognized mantra as to what autistic individuals have to offer to the world. Children and adults with autism look at the world differently.
Autistic individuals may have different strengths and weaknesses than the general population, but it does not make them any less.
If anything it makes them more! I have shared my view about if anyone wants to cure me and I don’t wish to be cured as yes, I may have some faults and flaws, so,
don’t you all but the truth of the matter is that we should be able to accept them and I don’t wish for a cure as this is who I am and what I am today.
(Reference: Should there be a cure for Autism- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SbjMKpwbUWU). Short answer in conclusion is NO.

To end this with you all that are reading or even watching this as it goes live: I will continue on my channel and anywhere you see me to share my life stories and experiences with autism and some mental health conditions to advocate and educate as this is what I love to do. Most of the videos I hope to do is all based on Autism Acceptance more than Awareness as well because that is what the world needs as well as us autistics as a whole needs!

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What’s the REAL STORY about Autistic People and Empathy?

Hey you! Were you listening to me? Why aren’t you listening or answering to me?

So many of the general public believe that autistic people don’t feel empathy towards others, and this I will say is quite the opposite really. I can’t stress it enough that every Autistic you will meet will be different to how they act, speak and think. So, this post is designed to help set the record straight.


Credit: Rebekka Dunlap/Spectrum

First of all, what is empathy? Quite simply, empathy is the ability to understand what another person is thinking or feeling; but the truth is that empathy is anything but simple.

Autistic people can definitely struggle with certain aspects of empathy, but that doesn’t mean they don’t feel it at all. Sadly, despite years of campaigning by autism advocates, there’s still a widespread belief that people on the spectrum have no ability to make emotional connections or form meaningful relationships, and this really couldn’t be further from the truth.

Autistic people are often the most kind-hearted, compassionate individuals you’ll ever meet. Deeply committed to their family and friends, with an intense spiritual connection to the world around them, they really are nothing like the stereotypical, emotionless loners they’re sometimes portrayed as in the mainstream media.

However, like all stereotypes, this one has its roots in reality, and has come about as a result of the complex nature of autism, and the equally complex nature of empathy. This post describes the three main aspects of empathy – affective, cognitive and compassionate – and how autistic people can both struggle with and excel at processing and expressing them.

Affective Empathy

This is an unconscious, automatic response allowing you to feel what other people (and other living beings) are feeling, and is absolutely not something autistic people lack.

For example, it’s very common to find people on the spectrum who feel intensely connected to all species of animals, birds, insects etc. and the bonds they
form – with creatures who live free from the endless restrictions of human social rules – can be quite extraordinary.

In the case of affective empathy, rather than having too little, autistic people can often have way too much – a condition known as ‘hyper-empathy.’

Hyper-empathic people find that even the thought of anyone or anything suffering causes them intense emotional, psychological and often physical pain.
They can be highly sensitive to any changes in atmospheres, picking up on the slightest tension between people, and becoming more and more upset as they anticipate things escalating.

Since processing these powerful feelings can be really hard for them, they’ll often withdraw or go into meltdown over something that’s perfectly valid to them, yet a complete mystery to those around them.

Another way this shows itself is in the extreme personification of objects: forming deep emotional bonds with everyday items like pencils or rubber bands.

There are many examples of personification in the language we use every day (time waits for no-one/the camera loves her etc.) and also in our culture, with films
such as Beauty and the Beast being very much enhanced by its singing, dancing, emoting kitchenware, but what I’m describing here is something much more overwhelming.
Autistic people can become extremely upset if they feel, for example, that a specific crayon or hairbrush isn’t being used as often as the others, because it might be
feeling left out. I can imagine how that sounds to anyone who’s unfamiliar with autism, but believe me, to many, many autistic people, this really does make perfect
sense.

Cognitive Empathy

This is the largely conscious ability to work out what other people are thinking or feeling, and because human beings are so endlessly complex, If you’re not
naturally wired to understand the process, it can be really, really difficult to learn. Cognitive empathy is an intricate thought process allowing you to grasp
what people really mean when they say something vague, or which emotions they’re feeling when they behave in a way you find confusing. It’s something most
neurotypical people pick up very quickly, and most autistic people have to work really hard at.

Anyone who lives with autism (whether they’re autistic themselves or are in close contact with an autistic person) will recognize how difficult it can be for people on the spectrum to guess other people’s behaviours and intentions without very precise instructions. In other words, it really helps to say exactly what you mean when you talk to autistic people, because they just don’t get the concept of ‘implied.’

A perfect example of this happened in here recently, someone mentioned about their youngest son – “When my youngest son’s girlfriend told him ‘I’ve just left work; meet me at the end of the road.’ Now, it was clearly implied that since she’d just stepped out of the office, she wanted to meet him at the end of the road she works on, but since Aidan doesn’t do ‘implied,’ there she stood, more than twenty minutes later, still waiting for him to arrive.

Aidan, meanwhile, was waiting at the end of the road where she lives, which seemed to him to be the most logical road to meet on, since they’d met there several times before. Not specifying a particular road when talking to an autistic person is what we call in here a ‘rookie mistake!’

Dr. Spook from Star Trek

There are a couple of terms relating to this that you’ve probably come across if you’re part of the autism community: The ability to consciously recognize what other people are thinking and feeling is known as ‘the Theory of Mind’ (usually abbreviated to ToM); while being unable to do this is known as ‘Mind-blindness’. Mind-blindness is one of the most common traits a health professional will look for during an autism diagnosis, and its effects very much work both ways.

Autistic people will often assume everyone has the same views and understanding of the world as they do, as well as the same passions and interests.
I’m sure many of you are familiar with the seemingly endless discussions about special interests which are a direct result of this trait.

They’ll also believe that if they’re aware of something, other people must be too, and this can lead to all kinds of problems. Another person mentioned about their son, ” When my son Dominic was young he almost died of acute double pneumonia because he didn’t tell us he was in agonizing pain whenever he coughed”. Devastated, the mum asked him why he hadn’t mentioned it to her , and he said simply ‘I thought you knew.’

Compassionate Empathy

This is both the understanding of another being’s situation, and the motivation to help them if they’re in some sort of trouble. Once again, autistic people have no shortage of this kind of empathy, even though they can sometimes struggle when it comes to offering the right kind of help.

Many people on the spectrum are hugely motivated when standing up against what they consider to be injustice, and you’ll find some of the most passionate voices
in the struggle for equality, animal rights and a cleaner environment are the autistic ones.

Autistic people see far less boundaries than neurotypical people do, which is a really positive trait when it’s applied to finding new solutions to seemingly unsolvable problems. Conversely there are many challenges for autistic people to master when it comes to giving and receiving emotional support, as they tend to struggle quite a lot with social boundaries.

Autistic people often don’t like to hug, or they hug too tightly, which is a natural way for neurotypical people to show empathy towards each other, and this definitely adds to the misconception that they’re unfeeling and lack the capacity to love. Putting your arm around someone’s shoulder or your hand on their arm when they’re sad are both automatic gestures for neurotypical people to make, but can be incredibly confusing for autistic people who have difficulty picking up social cues about how much physical contact is appropriate in each particular situation.

When you’re autistic, joyous occasions such as birthday parties and weddings can be just as difficult to navigate as the more emotionally draining events like funerals. Understanding why it’s important to ‘say the right thing at the right time’ can be very confusing, leading to all sorts of mix-ups, but autistic people really do care, and are genuinely trying their best to be supportive, even when they get things wrong.

Socially Appropriate

So those are the basics of empathy, and some of the struggles autistic people can have with them. I’ll leave you with a real-life example of one man’s version of compassionate empathy which I’m sure many wives of autistic husbands will recognise.

For several years I’d been dogged by some very serious injuries and illness, and had put on quite a bit of weight as a result. We were going out for the day so I squeezed myself into a pair of jeans I hadn’t worn for a really long time. They just about fitted but to be honest I wasn’t too sure about wearing them in public. I told my husband I felt a bit uncomfortable about how my legs looked, and rather than the standard ‘You always look beautiful to me, darling’ reply I’d expected, he spent way too long staring at my thighs and came out with the ever-so-helpful statement ‘Yes, they are pretty big. I know! Just wear a long coat.’
Yes, thank you for that, darling; problem solved. Sigh.






Please DON’T SPEAK on my behalf as I have a voice of my own.

Don’t you just love it that you have some people that thinks that they know all about you or try to speak on your behalf regardless of what the conversation is about or the topic at hand is? Man, I tell you, this can annoy anyone and this is one of the many pet peeves I have along with my concerns that I shared about for the future of the Autistic Community and if you would like to watch more about this topic especially the link is:
https://youtu.be/dbWjL_YoIBo.

*NOTE: Yet, one of the parts is what I am sharing now is safety in groups or not being able to be listened to from others. Yet, most of this is shared in about 3 minutes and something on my video that I’m sharing as above. But, back to what I’m sharing is that others speaking for us and somethings that may be shared or said to us or many others with mental illnesses that aren’t doing any good for us but may harm or trigger us. People speaking for myself or others on the Autistic community is viewed in 6 minutes and thirty-six seconds in my video. *

As an autistic person or as I would like to be called when I’ve got Aspergers Syndrome is an Aspie. I ask you to please try to understand autism from autistic people who live this on the daily and that the struggles that we face and that’s in saying that some people not all aren’t wanting to understand or are just plain out arrogant or ignorant. Don’t get me wrong as I’m aware that there’s others that has their own struggles too that are outside of the spectrum of Autism and Mental Health etc. The people who are most knowledgeable about autism are those who live as autistic everyday. Why then do non-autistic people have authority about autism and how to help autistic people?
The Autistic Self Advocacy Network is an important group because we can advocate for ourselves. Although we need many people to learn from, ASAN understands autism better than parent and profession-led groups. (NO OFFENCE TO ANYONE READING THIS).
People should listen to us about our experiences, needs, desires, and goals.

*Note this is just my opinions here along with my thoughts to share with you all. *

Acceptance is making each person feel valued and seeing his or her importance in society. I am helping to pave a way for more autistic people like me to be given a way to communicate meaningfully as well as being able to have a voice that they can use to share their stories, experiences and more. I believe that I have made a difference by blogging, answering any questions, and making my voice heard via through all my social medias I’ve got. People need to know nonverbal people also have feelings and intelligence as well. My voice only comes out through typing or if I chose to through my social media of YouTube and other links that you should be able to find me on. I am learning to type more independently. This might take me a long time. Please respect my voice even if it has to be supported from a trusted person. My voice is all mine.

I have a voice now. My goal is to advocate and educate others for those who communicate like me to have more opportunities in regular education and mainstream life along with just anyone that is interested. I have benefited so much from a good education and lots of activities in the community. I also advocate for people who still don’t have a voice. I blog to tell people how I feel and how communication has changed my life. I do this in hopes to convince parents, teachers, and therapists to believe their children and students are smarter than they look. I blog to show that good alternatives to speaking are possible. Meaningful communication opens a whole bigger world of connection to others and opportunities to learn and to grow in ourselves and with others around us. People become much happier. Taking away my voice would be oppression. To deny any validity of supported communication is like imprisoning an innocent person.

Autism is a neurological difference and disability. I can’t change the way I am wired based on my speech and what I am as a whole as a person. I’m built for another planet that isn’t yours and may not be able to understand this but I must live here. Please help autistic people by loving us as we are and not try to cure us. Peace comes when I am accepted and included.