Today, more than ever before there has been so many cases or stories that I’ve heard from others as well as in myself to what I’ve experienced for so long is the people’s attitudes of others that are different either they’re on the spectrum, or if they’ve got some other special needs etc is that if they’re accepting of others or if they’re not. I have noticed that some people can be accepting yet they’re still unsure how to respond or treat others that are different no matter who and what they are. My question is do we really know what exclusion is of the difference between this and inclusion? Exclusion as a definition and reminder to us all is defined as an act or instance of excluding, the state of being excluded. So, therefore, exclusion is to prevent or restrict the entrance of, or to bar from participation, consideration or inclusion.
So, this is where the exclusion part comes into place. Forgive me if I go off on this, but why is today’s society so exclusive to people and not inclusive like they used to be? Why is today’s society so harsh on each other, but yet be so nice at the same time? I guess it depends on how you are raised and how you are brought up, and how you value others and their respect, and how you value others and their feelings, for when you include someone, you accept their emotions, you accept their feelings, you accept for who they are, you accept the type of person they are, and you love them nonetheless. Exclusion and the instance of bullying is to separate from one person to another their values. Exclusion is the lack of self-esteem and a lack of self-confidence and the lack of self-control, albeit being obvious that the bully has the utter lack of self-control because, they are being exclusive and intolerable to people who are nice and who are brought up the right way. Because in my opinion people who are bullies have been either bullied by someone they know, who were a friend to them, or they are bullied by someone within their family. So they have to take it out on someone else. They find someone else who they feel they can control and who they feel that they can be superior of and start bullying people. When did that become such a serious issue? When did bullying and the exclusivity of people of separation become an issue to the point to where it has to have an end result of being a suicide or someone being hospitalized or someone being interrogated when they are not the victim, when in actuality they are, and when they are the bullied victim, but yet they are the ones interrogated when it’s the bully’s fault to begin with because they were doing the bullying? When did schools become so exclusive to the point to where they feel that instead of sticking up for their students and teaching them right and wrong where they should be in school? When did schools become so exclusive to the point to where they feel they have to sweep bullying under the rug and not stick up for the teachers or the students who are at their schools? When did schools become so exclusive to the point to where they have no emotions or lack thereof with the students that are in their schools to where they feel they have to keep sweeping bullying under the rug and not teach preventive measures? When did schools become so exclusive to the point where they do not allow or teach bullying education in their schools to show what is right and what is wrong, what is acceptable, and what is intolerable to those who are in that school? When did society become of age to when bullying became so intolerable that students have to bear it at their school to the point where they have to be taken out in order to have an education? When did society become so exclusive that schools and school administration and higher-ups like superintendents have to be so rude, crude, and not live up to their potential of protecting the students within their schools and keeps sweeping bullying under the rug and not protect the students within their schools, within their districts, within their towns, but the whole entire world?
What angers me the most as well as hurt me the most is the attitude towards or to others that if you don’t like it then leave… And, where I’ve come across this statement from others is from some schools, friends, teachers, businesses, organisations and so many other places that involves others to participate and to get involved in the community to belong somewhere. As I am trying to do and here goes this word TRYING really hard to fit in if need be or to blend in with my peers where-ever I am to participate in community events, community groups etc. I am trying my best and hardest to access the services I may need for myself to better improve myself and to prepare myself in the real world of what we are to become. I am trying to make friends. I am trying to make contact with others in anyway possible. I try my hardest to find a way that works for me to participate with everyday activities that others are doing. When sometimes myself or anyone that is most likely is autistic is asking or receiving from others in return is rude and incredibly lazy, of the people thinking or say it in a way that is, “I don’t want to have to bother with that and maybe we should give up! Maybe you don’t need friends, maybe you don’t need the health care and treatment you need, maybe you don’t need the education, may be you don’t need to go to some public spaces and events that is happening, may be you don’t need a job, etc. All of these things that we hear about that we all or some of us may take for granted are stripped from others who just thinks that we are either not good enough or don’t deserve to be in an environment that involves interacting with people. As we know that for everyone interaction with people is important to gain more friendships, building of trusts, building of relationships and so much more. In saying this that there are often a lot of barriers and hurdles that we autistics have to go through and endure from others and everyday situations we face that involves as to participate that we face and struggle on the daily. Others can’t see it as sometimes they are the ones that does cause some friction and some difficulties for us when we want to be involved and feel included in anything that we do on the daily.
As for us, Autistics who are advocating for ourselves to make it a better fit for us, for a little bit of flexibility and understanding, empathy and inclusion can be frustrating for a lot of us to the point is that we may end up giving up and isolating ourselves from the group that will also lead to many other different problems. Just to hear the attitude of, “Well, I don’t think that I am the best service for you.” Let’s give you an example to explain it more, let’s say that your child has special needs and you’re trying to find a school is that is accepting of others differences and then when you come to meet the principal and teachers to have a quick meeting to sit down and talk to see what you can help and they can help to better these needs and meet them, then you hear the words, “I’m not sure, we have the capability to meet your needs.””I don’t think that we’re a good fit.” It’s in your best interest to find somewhere else. This isn’t good enough as we know that the parents are doing their best for their children to get the right education and training in their children’s life to better themselves and prepare for what is to come. This is so not good enough! Why is this? This is basically saying – “You don’t belong here!” “And, we’ll be not making any effort to include you and make our services accessible to you!”
And, when this has happened a few times in my life while growing up and still sometimes face this dilemma to this day, that I get frustrated and angry about this along with other mixed emotions and I get a few comments from my friends and some parts of family to say, “Why don’t you go with your feet and just look at it this way, that this company or organization is treating you this way, go somewhere else.””If this employer is treating you like this, go somewhere else.” And this does sound like it make sense and is simple for many of us to up and leave if they’re not treating me the right way, I won’t give them my business, time etc, right? But, at the end of the day how I look at it and feel is that I for one as an autistic as well as maybe a few others like me don’t have that many options that are left as we may not have nowhere else to go as again no matter where we go if we tried, we may likely get the thoughts and attitudes from others that “I may not be a good fit.” “I don’t think that we can accommodate you and your needs.” And, that’s why I’m passionate about what I am doing right now here on my channel as well as keep trying even if certain situations that I face may not work out for me and just keep moving forward with a positive attitude and mindset. If I can and want to, if need be I will try and find a solution if need be yet if I can’t then, just need to learn to let go and say, “Okay this didn’t work and I can’t control this situation I am facing, time to let go and breathe and start again in a different way.” This attitude from some of the others that I’ve spoken to or met is saying to me “We don’t serve your kind here.” “We don’t want to accommodate you.” “We don’t wish for you to participate in our business no matter what it is.” Some of the things that we are talking about here of the major important things in our lives, like going to school, making friends or trying to build up a friendship or relationship with people around us and going to some places that we like to go to as a hobby or interest.
You see where I am at the moment, I am trying to do for advocacy is flexibility and inclusion of others as I try to find as many possible solutions while sometimes, yes I can be difficult in trying to find the needs to be meet of others. The degree of flexibility and inclusion is important to me and should be for others that does advocate for others to make anything accessible that needs to be accessed. I’m privileged that I have a voice and can speak out my opinions and thoughts to try and advocate for myself. And what irks me that is that the knowledge that one of me that doesn’t have a powerful or useful voice to advocate for themselves and be included. So, that is one of the reasons to why I get angry about the people’s attitude towards exclusion if you don’t like it then leave. It may sound denying-ably enough on the inside but this is limiting as this denies people access to the right accommodation and support services that they need. I can’t stress it enough that all AUTISTICS WANTS TO BE INCLUDED AND FEEL ACCEPTED IN GROUPS. Yet, we face a lot of barriers no matter what we do or we go and turn. Participation for everyone is important.
As I walk through these lonely long footsteps now after hearing the tragic yet horrific news about some of the people in my life has now gone out of my life through death. That death came knocking at their door and that death has taken them away for whatever reason it may be. I am walking in disbelief, shock and anger wondering to myself, “Why?” “What did I do to make it wrong?” And so many more of these unanswered questions. I had all sorts of crazy thoughts that were running through my mind at the time. These unanswered questions and thoughts needs to be silenced once more. Time stood still when I heard this as it felt like almost a sharp dagger stabbed my broken heart as I ache to have the ones that I loved and cherished in my life to still be here. Yes, I have so many mixed feelings, emotions and thoughts right now. Yet, it saddens me that the place where some of us have been and seen is now just a memory and a place of comfort and peace. I come here often as this is a quiet place for me to sit down to think and to write as well as to reminisce all the memories that has been shared through it all. But, now it breaks my heart that the places that was shared, the laughter shared, the tears shared and more is now gone. I only have now some photos as well as some letters from the ones that wrote to me as well as knowing now that they’re only here with me in spirit.
Dear Grief as you know that despite the loved ones and friends that I had are now gone, writing in my journal gives me so much peace and comfort and it helps me alot just by pouring all my hurt, thoughts onto a page or in this case on the screen.
Dear Grief, I want to ask you how did it happen, why did it happen, why now? Why did some of my friends and family that I loved and adored had to suffer the situations that they went through and not even bother telling me about it? Why did they had to think that they were doing me a favor to end their life or even just death in itself take them away. I question myself, was I good enough to be standing by them through their hard times even if I didn’t see the signs of what was really going on in their life? Would I be able to be their superhero, or even just some listening ear or board when they needed someone the most? I feel so hurt and angry. I cry every time I hear the names of my friends and loved ones that has passed. I cry every time when I hear their name to the ones that has left some precious and special people in their lives of their parents, children and grandchildren. I cry when I now know that they’re now gone and won’t forever see the beauty of this world of what the world is like and what their future would have been like. Some of them to have their own family, grow old and learn from their mistakes and just to grow in themselves in spirit. All the while that the nevers that is said are breaking me to pieces and breaking my heart. Another day starts and that life goes on from the ones that are gone and that I have realised with them gone that I have now been given more peace, hope and inner courage and strength to continue my life. You’ve taught me that there’s one life and chance in this lifetime to make things right and if I fall down or feel that I have failed something, I just gotta keep on going and not let anything or anyone stand in my way. I feel some days that they are at a standstill because the times that has been shared is now slowing down. But, grief, I know that you’re here to stay with me for a reason. And, also grief you’ve also become a part of me into what I am going through to what I am now becoming. It makes me happy and at peace when I think about the ones that I have loved and lost along the way. I have been with them through the thick and thin and that we may have fought some times and that I have been with them with some part of the journey of where they were. Despite it all, in spirit they are with me and that they keep me going. Many of the ones that I have loved and lost along the way has inspired me to be the best me I can be and to be an inspiration to others big or small accomplishments made as well as making some of my dreams and goals a reality. With sharing memories to the world of my loved ones and friends, it brings me so much happiness. When grief is being shared, it feels less lonely and not feel that I am in the dark as there’s others out there that will need me for whatever reason it may be. When any of my loved ones or friends that I’ve lost of their names being shared, it just brings spark of joy, happiness and laughter. Doing some of the things for my loved one and friends is so precious to me to share with others do bring me some HOPE. My loved ones and friends will always be who and what they are to me. My love for my loved ones and friends will continue to shine and radiate through to others as they come on my journey and path of life to show me what life means to them. Grief you’ve completely changed my life yet the bond shared with my loved ones and friends hasn’t changed along with whatever memories that we had and shared will still be there. I have said this many of times yet now I am writing it to pen to paper as well as sharing it to the world. I am now accepting you grief! Why you may ask? As you have now been accepted as part of my life, love for everyone I’ve lost.
Hi guys, as you can see reading straight off the bat about what this topic is all about and I want to be real, honest and transparent with you. As you know that it’s hard as it is going to be for me as well as most likely any other person that has their struggles to do this to be as brave as they can be and not to fear about getting judged or misunderstood. Some of the videos that are being shared can be restricted especially in this area of sharing our life stories and experiences with Autism and many other hosts of conditions we may have which I clearly shared one of my videos which I will link here: and with that if we are all brave enough to make a stand to talk about it then I feel our job should be done. Let’s hope that we can agree to disagree or agree to disagree or whatever to what is to come of my points I would like to share today on my channel.
If any of you really know me as a person I love to try and help people and do my darn hardest to be happy regardless to what my everyday battles/struggles are
even if I do wear them either with pride or not.
So, let’s get on with the video now.
Point number 1- Representing the whole entity of the spectrum of Autism, can it be done?
Just hoping that this makes sense to many of you or hoping you understand to what I am trying to say but I will explain this to you.
I have now come to realise that despite it all that we are all different with different needs with Autism. We can’t all represent autism as a whole as it’s a whole
new ball game as well as being a spectrum of different Autism Spectrum Conditions along with us we all have a different story and life experiences etc.
I have also realise this now too.I believe that as a person with Autism or as I keep calling myself as an Aspie. This platform
is for me to at least share my stories and experiences as well as documenting as much as I can what my life is like as an autistic for others to gain a better
understanding and knowledge about who and what I am underneath autism and a few mental health conditions I have. I believe strongly that I should be able to be
express myself without the fear of being judged, criticised by others or others telling me what to do or say or think. I am my own individual self.
I am not to be born to be the same as others. I am born to be different and to stand out. I am learning to come out of my shell than I’ve ever have and am trying to
learn to love myself again and to not be hard on myself when I do have these really bad days that are thrown at me. I have learnt alot along the way while facing these
struggles and that all I can say is that I am blessed and humble to be alive and have a few small amount of people who are there with me on my journey.
We can’t live in a world of perfectionism. You can try but I hate to say it that you will fail! Being perfect to everyone will not be easy and that we should
just be able to do what we love. I feel sometimes that whenever I do something that I tell myself, “Aspie, you got this regardless of what you been through,
you can get through your day shining brighter as a star!” I’ve come to realise that despite what others has said to me I want to speak on my terms and no one else, I
did share about this topic about this which I will link here if you wish to view what I am trying to say here. “https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wlBD23cHcO0&t=616s”
I have learnt now that you can’t always please everyone and if anyone does attack you for doing the things that you love, you must be doing something right, right?
As you know or should know by now that my channel is about all things Autism and Mental health along with sharing you my life stories and experiences with it. Trying to understand the whole spectrum is impossible and difficult as we are all different and have different needs etc in our lives no matter where we are in life. There is a lot of learning and experimenting about the spectrum and all and just listening and watching some people share their experiences with Autism- to know that I am not alone makes it so much easier. 2 I have noticed that when I have been in groups that it’s never easy for me to try and speak the way that they want me to as we all know that we have our different styles of communication as well as just everyday struggles. For sure, I believe that I am getting better it is just a matter of hoping others can accept to how I am wired differently. I have also mentioned about this in my video of the future for the autistic community again I will link it here and in the description. When we are on the spectrum, there could possibly be some similarities of the traits and characteristics that we share yet again we need to be aware that there is never a same autistic when you meet one for the very first time. We know that there wasn’t enough advocacy for the whole spectrum. No one or anything like some businesses can represent the whole spectrum of autism. We can’t please everyone as I learnt that when I was nearing my twenties. I did spoke on pleasing everyone or we can’t forever be perfect for anyone. I did a poem about perfectionism which you can watch here: https://youtu.be/ixPDwl9PeMI. I have noticed that we have to be put in a box with some expectations that others would like to see from us. I am now accepting that I can’t please everyone and what I say or do or even when I am in front of the camera with you all that I do my utmost best to make the best content for you all to enjoy no matter what it is of a subject matter or some follow me vlogs and more. I want to be true in myself based on my life experiences to what I’ve been through and hope to share with you all and that something that I share may shed some light and hope for you all that you’re not alone and that I can relate to some situations we face in life but not all yet also being your listening ear or sound board for any advice. I will do my utmost best also to represent my side of Autism of what goes on in my life as well as just other hosts of conditions that I have yet, I know that I’ve not shown any behind the scenes footage of what goes on in my life yet I want to do what I can do for you all. I want to try and as said give back to you all as much as I can. I am really humbled and blessed to have some of you that has stood by me through the very beginning and I can’t thank you all enough. I appreciate this. I want to try and open doors of opportunities and communication on my medias where you can be safe and not be judged even if you would like to private message me that is fine with me. Most of us autistics are now trying to open doors of acceptance more than awareness as did share my thoughts about what we need which you can see here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OPQcBVbW1pE (World Autism Awareness & Acceptance Month/What does Autistics want? ACCEPTANCE [April 2019])
2. Being able to help someone through my videos
I am grateful that there are times like these that people tell me that some things that I share of the everyday topics help them. I love hearing what you think or even some feedback to make my content better as well for you all. I am hoping that with the other items that I enjoy. I also admire ones that shows what we are as a person as a whole with what we share. I may not know everything about Autism and Mental Health yet we need to grow and share some interests. I love to engage with you all about mental health and autism that’s personal. I hope that with some variety that adds a bit of fun about me? Let me know in comments section.
3. Autism and mental health Advocacy
I do try to go to some events that is related to what I love to do and hoping that I can be really strong minded for what I love to do.
I believe that we can be an advocate in our rights. We all different for sure.
I hope that with whatever I share will learn from me and I learn from you.
I will hope to hear from you all of what you want to share based on this video that I am sharing.