People’s Attitude towards EXCLUSION- IF YOU DON’T LIKE IT…. LEAVE

Today, more than ever before there has been so many cases or stories that I’ve heard from others as well as in myself to what I’ve experienced for so long is the people’s attitudes of others that are different either they’re on the spectrum, or if they’ve got some other special needs etc is that if they’re accepting of others or if they’re not. I have noticed that some people can be accepting yet they’re still unsure how to respond or treat others that are different no matter who and what they are. My question is do we really know what exclusion is of the difference between this and inclusion? Exclusion as a definition and reminder to us all is defined as an act or instance of excluding, the state of being excluded. So, therefore, exclusion is to prevent or restrict the entrance of, or to bar from participation, consideration or inclusion.

So, this is where the exclusion part comes into place.
Forgive me if I go off on this, but why is today’s society so exclusive to people and not inclusive like they used to be?
Why is today’s society so harsh on each other, but yet be so nice at the same time?
I guess it depends on how you are raised and how you are brought up, and how you value others and their respect, and how you value others and their feelings, for when you include someone, you accept their emotions, you accept their feelings, you accept for who they are, you accept the type of person they are, and you love them nonetheless.
Exclusion and the instance of bullying is to separate from one person to another their values. Exclusion is the lack of self-esteem and a lack of self-confidence
and the lack of self-control, albeit being obvious that the bully has the utter lack of self-control because, they are being exclusive and intolerable to people who are nice and who are brought up the right way. Because in my opinion people who are bullies have been either bullied by someone they know, who were a friend to them, or they are bullied by someone within their family. So they have to take it out on someone else. They find someone else who they feel they can control and who they feel that they can be superior
of and start bullying people. When did that become such a serious issue? When did bullying and the exclusivity of people of separation become an issue to the point to where it has to have an end result of being a suicide or someone being hospitalized or someone being interrogated when they are not the victim, when in actuality they are, and when
they are the bullied victim, but yet they are the ones interrogated when it’s the bully’s fault to begin with because they were doing the bullying?
When did schools become so exclusive to the point to where they feel that instead of sticking up for their students and teaching them right and wrong where
they should be in school? When did schools become so exclusive to the point to where they feel they have to sweep bullying under the rug and not stick up for
the teachers or the students who are at their schools?
When did schools become so exclusive to the point to where they have no emotions or lack thereof with the students that are in their schools to where they feel
they have to keep sweeping bullying under the rug and not teach preventive measures? When did schools become so exclusive to the point where they do not allow or
teach bullying education in their schools to show what is right and what is wrong, what is acceptable, and what is intolerable to those who are in that school?
When did society become of age to when bullying became so intolerable that students have to bear it at their school to the point where they have to be taken out
in order to have an education? When did society become so exclusive that schools and school administration and higher-ups like superintendents have to be so rude,
crude, and not live up to their potential of protecting the students within their schools and keeps sweeping bullying under the rug and not protect the students
within their schools, within their districts, within their towns, but the whole entire world?

What angers me the most as well as hurt me the most is the attitude towards or to others that if you don’t like it then leave…
And, where I’ve come across this statement from others is from some schools, friends, teachers, businesses, organisations and so many other places that involves others
to participate and to get involved in the community to belong somewhere. As I am trying to do and here goes this word TRYING really hard to fit in if need be or to
blend in with my peers where-ever I am to participate in community events, community groups etc. I am trying my best and hardest to access the services I may need
for myself to better improve myself and to prepare myself in the real world of what we are to become. I am trying to make friends. I am trying to make contact
with others in anyway possible. I try my hardest to find a way that works for me to participate with everyday activities that others are doing.
When sometimes myself or anyone that is most likely is autistic is asking or receiving from others in return is rude and incredibly lazy, of the people thinking or say it in a way that is, “I don’t want to have to bother with that and maybe we should give up! Maybe you don’t need friends, maybe you don’t need the health care and treatment you need, maybe you don’t need the education, may be you don’t need to go to some public spaces and events that is happening, may be you don’t need a job, etc. All of these things that we hear about that we all or some of us may take for granted are stripped from others who just
thinks that we are either not good enough or don’t deserve to be in an environment that involves interacting with people. As we know that for everyone
interaction with people is important to gain more friendships, building of trusts, building of relationships and so much more. In saying this that there are often a lot of barriers and hurdles that we autistics have to go through and endure from others and everyday situations we face that involves as to participate that we face and struggle on the daily. Others can’t see it as sometimes they are the ones that does cause some friction
and some difficulties for us when we want to be involved and feel included in anything that we do on the daily.

As for us, Autistics who are advocating for ourselves to make it a better fit for us, for a little bit of flexibility and understanding, empathy and inclusion
can be frustrating for a lot of us to the point is that we may end up giving up and isolating ourselves from the group that will also lead to many other different problems. Just to hear the attitude of, “Well, I don’t think that I am the best service for you.” Let’s give you an example to explain it more, let’s say that your child has special needs and you’re trying to find a school is that is accepting of others differences and then when you come to meet the principal and teachers to have a quick meeting to sit down and talk to see what you can help and they can help to better these needs and meet them, then you hear the words, “I’m not sure, we have the capability to meet your needs.””I don’t think that we’re a good fit.” It’s in your best interest to find somewhere else. This isn’t good enough as we know that the parents are doing their best for their children to get the right education and training in their children’s life to better themselves and prepare for what is to come. This is so not good enough! Why is this? This is basically saying – “You don’t belong here!” “And, we’ll be not making any effort to include you and make our services accessible to you!”

And, when this has happened a few times in my life while growing up and still sometimes face this dilemma to this day, that I get frustrated and angry about this
along with other mixed emotions and I get a few comments from my friends and some parts of family to say, “Why don’t you go with your feet and just look
at it this way, that this company or organization is treating you this way, go somewhere else.””If this employer is treating you like this, go somewhere else.”
And this does sound like it make sense and is simple for many of us to up and leave if they’re not treating me the right way, I won’t give them my business,
time etc, right? But, at the end of the day how I look at it and feel is that I for one as an autistic as well as maybe a few others like me don’t have that many options that are left as we may not have nowhere else to go as again no matter where we go if we tried, we may likely get the thoughts and attitudes from others that “I may not be a good fit.” “I don’t think that we can accommodate you and your needs.” And, that’s why I’m passionate about what I am doing right now here on my channel as well as keep trying even if certain situations that I face may not work out for me and just keep moving forward with a positive attitude and mindset. If I can and want to, if need be I will try and find a solution
if need be yet if I can’t then, just need to learn to let go and say, “Okay this didn’t work and I can’t control this situation I am facing, time to let go and breathe and start again in a different way.” This attitude from some of the others that I’ve spoken to or met is saying to me “We don’t serve your kind here.” “We don’t want to accommodate you.” “We don’t wish for you to participate in our business no matter what it is.”
Some of the things that we are talking about here of the major important things in our lives, like going to school, making friends or trying to build up a friendship or relationship with people around us and going to some places that we like to go to as a hobby or interest.

You see where I am at the moment, I am trying to do for advocacy is flexibility and inclusion of others as I try to find as many possible solutions while sometimes, yes I can be difficult in trying to find the needs to be meet of others. The degree of flexibility and inclusion is important to me and should be for others that does advocate for others to make anything accessible that needs to be accessed. I’m privileged that I have a voice and can speak out my opinions and thoughts to try and advocate for myself. And what irks me that is that the knowledge that one of me that doesn’t have a powerful or useful voice to advocate for themselves and be included. So, that is one of the reasons to why I get angry about the people’s attitude towards exclusion if you don’t like it then leave. It may sound denying-ably enough on the inside but this is limiting as this denies people access to the right accommodation and support services that they need. I can’t stress it enough that all AUTISTICS WANTS TO BE INCLUDED AND FEEL ACCEPTED IN GROUPS. Yet, we face a lot of barriers no matter what we do or we go and turn. Participation for everyone is important.

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I WILL NOT LIGHT IT UP BLUE FOR AUTISM ACCEPTANCE- WE AUTISTICS DON’T NEED A CURE(Personal Opinion)

I’m always grumbling or making a form of a rant about how so many people still don’t really understand it, so World Autism Awareness Week – April 2-9 – can only be a good thing, right? In my honest opinion, well, sort of and not quite. Any raising of public awareness is a good thing when it comes to Autism Spectrum Condition, so long as there are no ulterior motives behind us or that is offered to us and it’s just about helping people learn about the condition and how to support those with it.

But then there’s Autism Speaks. Yes, I know that I will get a lot of people attacking me on this yet hear me out as we all have heard of this nasty organisation for a reason. And that is? Before sharing more of this I did share my views about Autism Speaks to why Autistics don’t wish to hear about it and you can watch the video here called: Aspie Let’s Talk- Why WE SHOULDN’T support autism speaks- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MOdgoXz3pkg

Now, back to my opinion on this topic at hand of their ‘Light It Up Blue’ campaign as this has been so successful in the United States that it’s now pretty much ubiquitous – even major landmarks such as Niagara Falls and the White House have been known to ‘Light up blue’. The campaign has gathered momentum in the UK recently and I regularly see people posting supportive ‘I’m lighting it up blue for Autism’ memes across social media. The United Nations designated April 2 World Autism Awareness Day dated back in 2007. And the world certainly needs more awareness of autism-related issues – if nothing else, only 16% of people diagnosed as autistic in the UK are in full time employment, 10% of those people who are diagnosed as autistic in New Zealand are in full time employment, and that seriously needs to change. A much higher percentage are more than capable of working, but they simply don’t get the opportunities afforded to those we describe as ‘neurotypical’ (someone with a non-autistic brain). In the UK, World Autism Awareness Week is organised by the National Autistic Society, which has been working on behalf of autistic people and their needs since 1962. Light It Up Blue was founded in 2010 and marketed so aggressively – and successfully – that many people now assume it to be the obvious campaign to support. Most people do so in the genuine belief that they are helping autistic people. The White House has lit up blue. However, Autism Speaks are an ‘Autism advocacy organisation’ who offer a wide range of therapies, interventions and treatments for autistic children. Which is where the issues start to creep in. Up until 2016, Autism Speaks openly worked towards finding a ‘Cure’ for autism, despite the autistic community  regularly explaining why trying to ‘cure’ an inherent condition was offensive. According to a video they produced – which has since been withdrawn by the organisation themselves but copies of which can still be found online – having an autistic child meant the end of your life as you know it. A sample from a transcript of the video: I am autism.

(Link to this you can watch here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9UgLnWJFGHQ)

This is what is stated in the video as you watch this. Be warned that this may cause some triggers to some Autistics that doesn’t believe in all of what is shared here.

I’m visible in your children, but if I can help it, I am invisible to you until it’s too late. I know where you live. And this: I am autism. I have no interest in right or wrong. I derive great pleasure out of your loneliness. I will fight to take away your hope. I will plot to rob you of your children and your dreams. I will make sure that every day you wake up you will cry, wondering who will take care of my child after I die?

Autism doesn’t rob either myself anyone that is diagnosed of their dreams – if anything, it makes our dreams more vivid, brilliant and ridiculously wonderful. Autism cannot be ‘Cured’ – it is a difference in the wiring of the brain and is permanently built into our genetic makeup.

What Autism Speaks offers is training to coax your child into ‘behaving acceptably’, in much the same way one would train a dog. Applied Behaviour Analysis is the most common therapy offered by organisations such as Autism Speaks. Again, many Autistics that I’ve spoken to doesn’t believe in this therapy/treatment that is supposed to be had for their own reasons. (I will share more later in my piece)

Their ‘100 Day Treatment Kit’ states: Treatment for autism is usually a very intensive, comprehensive undertaking that involves the child’s entire family and a team of professionals […] The recommended number of hours of structured intervention ranges from 25 to 40 hours per week during the preschool period […] ABA methods use the following three step process to teach: An antecedent, which is a verbal or physical stimulus such as a command or request. This may come from the environment or from another person or be internal to the subject; A resulting behavior, which is the subject’s (or in this case, the child’s) response or lack of response to the antecedent; A consequence, which depends on the behavior, can include positive reinforcement of the desired behavior or no reaction for incorrect responses. ABA therapy is less popular in the UK, but does have its supporters. However, as an autistic person I find it incredibly offensive that we should be required to undergo training in order to ‘fit in’ to the world – this article brilliantly explains why in more detail than I have space for here. We are not broken and we do not need to learn how to fit into your world. It is our world as well and we have every right to inhabit it just as we are. You can find endless comments from those in the autistic community, explaining how and why they disagree with the methods employed by Autism Speaks and why they’d prefer people to stop ‘lighting it up blue’:

The fabulous @NeuroRebel who I’ve been following and watching some of her videos has put out this very informative vlog, which explains just how autism can become very big business. After much campaigning and complaints on social media, Autism Speaks have actually brought two autistic people onto their board. Professor Stephen Shore is, among other things, the author of Understanding Autism for Dummies and Valerie Paradiz is an author who was herself diagnosed as autistic at the age of forty. However, this is still only two autistic people out of twenty board members, not including the founders and a ‘Director Emeritus’. That’s twenty four people, only two of whom are truly qualified to speak on behalf of autistic people. Despite Autism Speaks claiming to have withdrawn talk of ‘curing’ autism from their website, I downloaded  some of their information resources while researching this feature and found the following quotes within their ‘Treating Autism’ section: Most parents would welcome a cure for their child or a therapy that would alleviate all of the symptoms and challenges that make life difficult. Is There a Cure? Is recovery possible? You may have heard about children who have recovered from autism. Although, this is so relatively rare, it is estimated that approximately 10% of children lose their diagnosis of autism. Life can be difficult whether or not a person has Autism Spectrum Disorder. No child is perfect and a child with autism does not need a ‘Cure’. Autism Speaks are savvy enough to acknowledge that there isn’t a ‘one size fits all’ treatment for autism – so they offer several. Before, I write further as you read this that the term of Autism Spectrum Disorder has been removed by some people as some people may call it Autism Spectrum, or just Autism Spectrum Condition as to not to offend anyone that are diagnosed with Autism.

Even if you are one of the ‘Lucky’ parents whose child ‘loses’ their Autism Spectrum Condition diagnosis, that will only be because they have been forced into adapting their behaviour in order to appear neurotypical. But however well you train them to hide it, they will still be autistic. The suggestion that autism is something that can be ‘recovered’ from is offensive. Most people never lose their Autism Spectrum Condition diagnosis for the simple reason that autism is part of us – it cannot just disappear. Autism is as much a part of me as my grey eyes – they can be temporarily disguised, but they’ll always be green underneath. We do not need a cure – because autism is not a disease. I can’t be the first autistic person to wonder whether this is heading into eugenics territory, in much the same way as those considered at risk of having children with Down’s syndrome have had to consider.

Oh, and one last note to end and make you think more about what I am sharing right now– the ‘Blue’ element of the campaign comes from the outdated belief that autism is a ‘male brain’ condition, a theory that has now been widely disproves.

More and more girls and women are now being diagnosed as autistic, largely due to research into how autism ‘presents’ differently in females. For all these reasons, I will never ‘Light It Up Blue’. If you want to show your support for autism awareness, that’s great! You can ‘Light It Up Gold’ with Autism Acceptance Month.

Autism Acceptance #goforred

This image says it all as a declaration for many of us Autistics.

April 2 was World Autism Awareness Day. There will be plenty of people that will be relatively new to being “autism parents,” or “autism advocates” and so on. I am all for awareness, acceptance and generally increasing education for those who don’t know enough, or are starting out to wanting to know more about Autism in general and so much more. As you are aware I’ve been a voice/advocate on my channel for four years and only been blogging for almost two years.

World Autism Awareness Day was brought into being on December 2007 by a United Nations General Assembly resolution, under the more general auspices of improving human rights around the world. The resolution was met with acceptance from all member states, and first celebrated on April 2, 2008. For 2018, the U.N.’s program for the day includes a special focus on women and girls with autism; recent analyses estimate that 3.25 boys are diagnosed for everyone one girl (down from 4:1), but when looking for autism in girls (who often presently drastically differently than boys), that ratio can drop even more.

Autism Speaks, perhaps the most well-known of autism-related organizations, uses the tag line of “Light it Up Blue,” and encourages supporters (of its organization and of those with autism) to wear blue on April 2 and to use outdoor lighting with blue light bulbs. It’s a nice symbol of solidarity, really, it is, but here’s the thing: it’s blue because they operate on the outdated assumption that it’s mostly boys who are autistic. On the one hand, let’s overlook the old science, and the gender stereotype of “blue is for boys,” because the large majority of people and organizations lighting it up blue are simply trying to be supportive of the autism community. On the other hand, doesn’t education go hand in hand with advocacy? Don’t we want people to actually be supportive of those with autism, and not just pay some lip service to an Autism Speaks marketing campaign? And full disclosure: the last few years, many people may have been wearing blue, I have used #lightitupblue on my social media, and I, too, thought I was doing a good thing — in support of friends and family who live with autism.

I have shared some views why Autistics don’t want to share much of what Autism Speaks shares which you can watch this video here:

When you know better, you’re supposed to do better, though, so this year, I didn’t wear blue. I am being educational, instead by sharing some autistic related videos for you all to watch to gain a better understanding and educating you all about this.

I have been reading about Autism Speaks for a week or so now. Reading articles, blog posts, rants, comments on articles, etc. From my purely unscientific assessment, it seems like those who support the organization do so because it’s “the autism organization,” or in other words, they either don’t know any better, or they don’t care. The folks who fall into the anti-Autism Speaks camp almost universally support the Autistic Self-Advocacy Network instead, and they recommend use of the hashtag #redinstead.

Other catch phrases include “Nothing About Us Without Us,” which perhaps is directly aimed at Autism Speaks, who controversially had no autistic people on their Board for many years. When they finally put one on the board, he resigned over the organization’s practices. Currently, Autism Speaks has two autistic members of their Board, which is a tiny step in the right direction, but for many, it’s not enough.

Autism Speaks portrays autistic children as a burden. We honestly don’t know what my son’s future and development are going to be like — only he will be able to clue us into that. For now, we should focus on advocacy work and educating others as well as also if we have kids to teach them how to live their lives accordingly. I can’t fathom any child to be a burden as each and every one of them is a blessing with their own unique gifts to share to the world.

Autism Speaks is perhaps most controversial for their support of finding a cure for autism, or a pre-natal test similar to what’s available for Down syndrome and other genetic conditions. Some autistic adults see this as a direct affront to their existence — how can Autism Speaks possibly claim to represent them, when in effect, they seek to end the possibility of children like them existing? They even partnered with Google to launch a genome-sequencing project, MSSNG, which aims to sequence ten thousand complete genomes and “will identify many subtypes of autism, which may lead to more personalized and more accurate treatments.” While this may sound “great,” it’s reasonable to believe that if they can identify what causes autism, they can identify how to prevent it. Even the project’s name, MSSNG, is a twist on “missing,” one of many negative ways the organization has referred to autistic children in the past.

There is a push by some in the autistic community to make April Autism Acceptance Month, rather than focusing on awareness; but there is wide debate within the community itself as to just what constitutes “acceptance.”

I believe with everything that has come to light so far on this that there is still a long way to go based on Autism Awareness or Autism Acceptance.

In the end, we still have a lot to learn — no matter what it is by being an advocate or a voice for others to understand us better. Because of all that I have read so far, regardless of how we choose to approach autism advocacy in the future. So, to end this I shall say may many of you choose to wear #redinstead.

Being an Autistic! What it means to me! (Autism Acceptance/Awareness Month April [2019])

Wow! Just wow. What can I say? This is so mind blowing and overwhelming for me. I mean – I do know what I mean and know what I want to say. Just as an afterthought knowing now that there are many others like me but may experience life as an Autistic more different to me. Every Autistic I know or have spoken to will have a different story to share with their experiences and so much more. While I am sitting here right now, I never thought I would write this down in my journal of my thoughts but today, here I am. Ready and am about to share it with you all.

Words cannot describe how much I wanted to write (and someday) spread this message; it’s something I should’ve done years ago; especially now, when the world is changing. It changes every day and it’s going so quickly.  And, within these changes that comes into play and or effect that comes with our everyday challenges that we face no matter what it is – big or small.

I never knew why Autism could be complicated, misunderstood or frustrating for so many of us who has been diagnosed with this. I am so surprised about how it is acceptable to be discriminated, stigmatized, stereotyped or for somebody to say to any of us, ‘You don’t look autistic enough to have Autism’. Yes, we may have heard this so many times before of this from others that are lacking of knowledge, understanding and more. It is sometimes out of curiosity or just plain straight out ignorance not wanting to know or be aware that this is real and does exist. It is impossible to deny how Autism can affect so many, even today. A long time ago, Autism Awareness was miles away and everything we have now didn’t exist. I can’t imagine to life in a world with no awareness in the present day. I believe that with the quote I shared just recently in my last post that I wrote that “The first step towards change is awareness and the second step is acceptance”.

Still, Autism can be seen in a different light; this case – its words; written or verbal communication.

When I was researching the term for Autism, I found that according to the Oxford Dictionary, Autism is a mental condition which can include having difficulties of communicating and forming relationships.  (Scrunch or tear a piece of paper containing that fact.) I mean, come on.

The Oxford Dictionary doesn’t tell us how people see Autism.

An online dictionary defines Autism as,
“A developmental disorder of variable severity that is characterized by difficulty in social interaction and communication and by restricted or repetitive patterns of thought and behaviour”. Needless to say again, every Autistic that has been diagnosed will develop different traits and characteristics of it.

Autism is something that cannot be written or read. It can be seen as a jigsaw piece, where it can fit within in us. Every piece we place becomes a person – not a label but a gift we were born to have.   Yet, many others will view Autism again differently. From an article I read from: https://themighty.com/2018/04/what-is-autism-like/

The responses from many autistic adults varies and their responses when they discussed it with The Mighty writers when they answered the questions of, “How do you see the world differently from neurotypical individuals? What do you want people to know about the strengths of your unique perspective?”

These were their responses: 

1. “I see the world the way Zacchaeus in the Bible did when Jesus made his triumphant return to Jerusalem. While everyone else was crowding around the gates and along the path he was taking, pushing and shoving and so on, Zacchaeus decided to climb a tree and watch from there, out of harms way. It gave him a unique vantage point. Without intending to, he drew attention to himself and got mocked by the crowds for it, but Jesus befriended him. Basically, Jesus respected his unique point of view. Just because it’s different, doesn’t mean it’s wrong.” — Susan E.

2. “I have this capacity for joy that others don’t seem to have, at least not in quite the same way. I don’t always express that joy on the outside very well, and it can be quieter than the way it would look in other people, but it’s there inside of me and I think people see it if they look hard enough. No matter what I am going through, I am able to separate it from the joys in life and I can still find deep, wondrous joy even in the darkest of times. The sunlight shining through bare branches and making patterns on freshly fallen snow is beautiful to me, even in April. The feeling of a purring cat on my lap, the first sip of a perfectly brewed cup of coffee, a happy little chickadee at the bird feeder, all these little tiny joys throughout my day, being experienced and cherished as fully as possible, even through grief and pain. Don’t get me wrong, it can be harder to reach sometimes, but I still try and I almost always succeed. I don’t know if it’s because I experience things more intensely or if it’s that detail oriented part of my brain that picks up on those small details, or maybe it’s both. I just know that people are often surprised when they hear about how much I am enduring with my health and loss and other life troubles and they often comment on my positive attitude and my strength. It seems to be something unique to me that a lot of other people have more trouble achieving. I can’t quite put it into words, I just know it is because of my autism, and because of that one little — but very big thing — I wouldn’t trade my autism for anything.” — Jennifer K.RESOURCES FROM AUTISM TALK

3. “Its loud, bright, flashy and it hurts, but I can’t get away from it. Sometimes it’s a good thing and sometimes it’s not. I’ve learned where my personal limits are, but I can’t always tell people I’m at that limit. that my life. I wish sometimes I had a “Waldon cabin” but I don’t. And please, for the love of god, stop calling my genetic makeup a disease! My suffering isn’t from a virus. [Autism] is in my literal fiber, it’s genetic.” — Yvonne T.

4. “I see the world as a confusing and huge place. Because of it, I take everything in all at once and as a result, I don’t always like being at social gatherings. I would like people to know that people with autism are just like everyone else and despite the level or whatever, we’re human. We’re not a disease, not a experiment for science, and lastly, not the people media portray us as, like “Rainman” and “Atypical.” We grow and progress just like everyone else, we don’t stay the same like the media portrays. I want to see the real person, not what media portrays. I’m done with misconceptions, end of story.” — Brookelyn R.

5. “For many years the only way I could make sense of my different experience was having the belief that life was a play, and everyone but me had the script… I was an experiment… that offered some comfort as I saw everyone else managing things so easily that I struggled with.” — Katy K.

6. “I see the world as if I were an alien from another world. I observe the people and my surroundings learning from them, at the same time unaware of what’s going on around me. I’m there, but I feel isolated as if for some reason I don’t belong and have trouble connecting to this strange planet and don’t understand a lot of what is said and done. I’m curious to become involved, but at the same time, keep my distance so they don’t see the things that make me different from them.”– Jay P.

1 in every 150 people in the world has been diagnosed with Autism: that’s about 0.667% of the world’s population.

Autism can be challenging for many individuals, their families and friends. Every day, they have to go through situations like meltdowns, unexpected sudden changes, and diversions; over-sensitive to noise, sight, smell or touch; or travelling by themselves.

Turning a blind eye on Autism is just cruel and it can cause so much judgement, isolation and fear. This can lead to sadness and guilt about one’s self-identity.

An identity is important for everybody and every identity tells a story. Stories are vulnerable and valuable to everyone; they shouldn’t been shut away from the world, they shouldn’t be discriminated and nor should they shouldn’t be stereotyped. Every page needs to turn; so all of us need to be respected.

So, why am I thinking about this now? Why am I so passionate about this? Well, I just want to let go of my past. I want to let go of all the things that have hurt me and my loved ones too. I never had the strength to write about my feelings or tell anyone about them. Now that I have, I can finally say I am going to let everything go. All the guilt and doubt was all there – but not for long.

At the moment, I’m trying out an idea. I’m unsure how it’ll work out but I hope it’ll help me to be and feel confident. The next I feel sad or guilty; I’m going to stop and start to think. When I think, I’m going to imagine a spell out:

A: is for Acceptance: is the world accepting me? If not, why not?

U: is for Understand: does the world understand Autism? Does the world understand me?

T: is for Trust: does the world trust me and allow me to try?

I: is for Identity: What’s the story behind me? Have people seen me or do I only see myself?

S: is for Say: say how you feel. What’s the one thing I can change about today?

M: is for Mighty: Remind yourself how you strong you are. You are mighty – and you can do anything.

And it’s true – anyone can do anything to make a possible change in this world- Big or small.

Although I’ve been called weird, a kid or stupid, I’m going to start to think about me; sure, I’m different but I am special. I don’t care what people think of me anymore; they’re just to have to learn to deal with it. I know who I am and I can take away from all forms of negativity. I’m not alone because I feel accepted by the people I love. My world is going to be inclusive and when it will, I will promise to treasure everything you have and remember that life is just the start of a new beginning.

With the world continuing to change, why not start sharing our stories? Why not start pushing yourself and why not start to raise your voice for what you believe in. Always stand up for what you believe in.

Changing the world doesn’t happen with a tap of a pen or reading a book, it’s about taking action. We all have the power to raise our voice and coming out of our comfort zone. It’s easier than you think.

We prove people wrong by letting the good things in; they can only happen if we do something. I’ve proved people countless times but that doesn’t mean I should stop.

I may be insecure but deep down, I’m more than that. I know that I’m more than that.

I was born to be Autistic for a reason. I was born to be Autistic so I could change the world. I never realised that until now but I’m glad that I manage to figure it out before it was too late. I’m going to push myself; I’m going to make friends with those who see me for who I am but – most importantly – I’m going to be me. Me, myself and I; and when I die, I’ll die, knowing that I have changed the world to make it inclusive for all. Until then, I’ll continue to do what I do – however, I will say this. I recognize and accept my story and although it’s not finished, I know that I’ll continue to shine like the sun. I maybe Autistic but I’m proud of everything I do. I’m proud to be alive, to have love for Autism and to have a voice to say:I’m Autistic and I am proud. 💖

Honest chat/Thoughts – My concerns for the Autistic Community

This video idea or topic has come about from some of the Autistic YouTubers I’ve been watching recently of the likes of IndieAndy and Invisiblei. While watching them two as well as reading some blogs about this topic, I thought to myself shall I really share my thoughts on this topic? What does need to be addressed is so much here in this.
So, just bear with me as this is only based on my opinions as well as to what I’ve seen and experienced in some Autistic Groups I’ve been in. This is a matter of fact, in response to them both of their concerns/worries for the Autistic Community as a whole.
I want to say that both of these people are brave and courageous to speak their opinions or concerns about this. It does take a lot of guts and thanks for sharing this with us. You are amazing and you’re honesty is real and that it is now time for many of us Autistics should be able to speak out about it all.
Just as a side note before I continue to write or share this video (which will be shared during the month of Autism Acceptance and Awareness month) that will come out during the week of Autism Awareness and Acceptance month, that you can agree or
disagree to what I am saying and vice versa if you were to share this with others, I would totally do the same in which is respecting your opinions and views.
I love to hear what you think of somethings even if I don’t always agree with you, I will still engage with you somehow. I want to be able to try and talk to some of
the topics that maybe uncomfortable for some people on the Autistic community so that we can be able to connect and feel included in some way.


Working together and creating a partnership with families, friends, workers and a community as a whole is an important part of inclusion, and can help children reach their developmental potential. Strategies that promote inclusion are also strategies that promote meeting children at their individual developmental level.

Let’s be real here I don’t wish it to come across as a lecture or a rant. So, let’s try to avoid it in that retrospect and also to respect our opinions of this matter that need to be addressed. What I’ve seen or heard in the autistic community has really affected me emotionally as we all should be there for one another and that we should be including as much people in our community,accepting one another based on our differences and so much more. Some of the reasons are listed as follows:

The first step toward change is awareness and the second step is acceptance.

1) Some autistics aren’t being heard or listened to what is going on and that some places now are starting to not feel as if it is a safe place or haven for them to talk to others or even just posting what they’re going through without the fear of being judged or excluded from the group just for saying what is going on or even if they’re struggling to use the right terms etc.

Some of this that been hearing or seeing, has given me mixed emotions and feelings through all this as well.
Sometimes, when all this is going on inside the groups, it’s just makes me feel not to be involved in the Community. I am trying to support others as it is a shame really as am sure that there’s others out there that feels the same way or come to some agreement of what I am sharing right now. It’s like that despite it needing the feels to be safe, some days I just take a step back or try to do some other things in my day and conserve that energy for other matters that need to be shared or thought out. Before, I want to continue to share this, I will hope that I can have this conversation open in the discussion/comments section for you all to share what it is that concerns you of the Autistic Community and what you think you would like to see changed. As you are aware that ever since I’ve started writing my blog or even started my channel that I’ve been as real and honest with you guys and inviting you guys on a journey with me as a whole to see what life is like and that I am always willing to try and open up the floorboard to many discussions of different topics and I do my utmost best to answer any questions or concerns.

2) Is having others to try and speak out for or behalf of the Autistic Community- Yes, I believe that many are autistic themselves. Regardless of the connectivity that we are in of the spectrum for Autism and how close we are by having some similar interests to one another yet we are all different and unique souls that I feel right now it’s not right or not even anyone should have the place to at least for anybody to speak on behalf of every autistic person regardless of how autistic or not that they are and how involved that they are in based on the experiences that they may have as every experience we have is different to one another. There are a few people that try to speak on behalf of the autistic community that I may not agree with and vice versa and it is about respecting each others different opinions when it is shared and not to slap it back in our face if you wanted our opinion. Sure, I may see it from a different angle yet sometimes some things need to be met somehow I may say or think differently even if they think that they are right all the time or try to correct me with a few things and that is fine to point but what I am getting at is just they will want to correct you and I know that there are some autistics that are still learning about themselves and others around them.

I don’t need anyone to speak for me as I am able to speak for myself in terms to what or how I feel or think. Accept it or reject it.


3) Another scenario right now I’ve seen and heard about is the language preferences barrier between us all.

The preferences to what you wish to be called like I hear alot of people saying what they want to be called. I talked about this in one of my videos which will link here and in the icard and description for you to gain more understanding here to what I am trying to say. Example for this to gain a better understanding is that someone may tweet something like, “I met a person who has autism today.” Then you may have someone that is autistic and is again trying to speak for the whole of the autistic community something like,
“On behalf of the autistic community, we’d prefer you to say autistic person.” Yes, I do understand that this is an opinion that alot of people on the spectrum may share but I have preferably have no preference to a point yet I like the feel of the term Aspie for me to be called.
I did share some of the terms that maybe are being used in one of my videos which I will link here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YKGJu0C9Ygg&t=1s

We need to be patient and be able to guide them the right way. Sometimes, somethings that are being shared with the ones that are trying to agree with you at all cost. It is okay to not agree with a few things.
Here I am saying, “Please stop and think to what you’re saying and doing as not all autistics may want this or like this or even agree to some of this to what you are saying to me.” We need to respect each others differences of opinions
and thoughts etc.

I don’t force my opinion on others as I just accept others to how they want or what they want to be called autistic, aspie etc. I don’t like people from some of the Autistic Community to speak on my behalf as I am able to speak my opinions and thoughts
on different matters that may matter to me and may not matter to you and vice versa. This also goes to trying to speak on my behalf to share their opinions and views and trying to force it upon me to believe that also when I have come to the point of my life I do my own research etc to line up to what I believe in of my views and opinions. It is again a matter of respecting our differences of opinions and differences of our thoughts.
Just differences in general as well. Some people may have a preference of the language that is fine with me absolutely and others don’t in my case myself
and maybe a minority of us that don’t. This isn’t a bad thing. It’s not a right thing or wrong thing. Preferences to language if you do or you don’t is totally cool with me. I will respect that and that goes the other way too. I don’t usually have a preference with language and that sometimes if you’ve watched some of my videos that I may say a few things out of my mouth, like blah blah and sometimes, I don’t filter my language properly and sometimes
as you know that when it comes to my speech yes, I speak fast as sometimes my mind is engaging before my mouth or vice versa. I don’t usually police my own terms that I use. As you’re aware I use the variety of terms that are usually used example, Aspie, Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, Autistics and so on. I know that this can be a bad thing when you’re in an autistic community as I see that most people have a rigidiy of preferences and I try to care and then again not to care as we should be able to express ourselves and be ourselves in the community that we are in. For people that are trying to speak on my behalf telling me how I should be addressing others in the community and not very often I will speak about this due to the fear of being judged, fear of getting a backlash from them etc. For having some form of language right now, it’s a big thing in the community right now at this given moment. And, you may be seen as you know why isn’t this important to you as it is to us? It should be important to you! I’m like trying to say what I want to say and mean and then I get a few handful of people that will attack me and then I am like needing to have to apologise when it shouldn’t have to be necessary or even trying to validate my
feelings or thoughts if they’re valid. I will be like sorry I can’t forever change how my brain is wired and how it is working like a strip of film having to act
a certain way etc and that is coming to the term of “Shapeshifing” which again I discussed this and you can view it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5yrNF9_jG6A

I shouldn’t have to change something about me or say turning on and off a switch just to be on the right side of you. I would rather try and be as open, honest
and transparent to the point of the important topics/matters that I wish to share with you will as well as promoting an open honest conversation with you all
that doesn’t involve policing language and that for others to be able to feel safe and be able to express themselves and openly be able to feel what and how
they are really feeling like they’re saying something wrong or not saying it correctly. I’ve rather invite and promote these type of conversations than promoting
conversations that you have to say everything one hundred percent correct all the time. Yes, we may have some weaknesses in some areas of either communication or some
form of language that needs to be had/shared. I may see or hear someone saying something that isn’t right or even about to offend someone but not me but maybe to the
person who they’re talking to or addressing some form of topic to that person then if it does get to the point where it may feel it is on the edge of getting a bit
controversial or political – if I can and will I will try my hardest to politely correct them and will address it like, “I totally get what you mean, you made a really
good point and thanks for contributing to the conversation – just a heads up this tem or this way of wording what you’re wording can be a little bit offensive to some people. Or even some people may even not like this at all so in future this is something that you should think about before contributing or sharing your thoughts.
How about we go about saying this instead and guide them through that process gently and not in a judgemental way. I will carry that conversation yet I won’t totally
shut the conversation down despite that there has been a few instances in some of the groups that has happened to me and some fellow Autistics. Just as the conversations
we have are flowing and that they’re going okay and that it’s still open and we should be able to not be triggered to what others may say.

4) When I have been in the autistic community that sometimes, as shared earlier or just now that some of the conversations that are being had either
that they’re being shutdown or they are just like getting bullied or even removed from the group from the admin/moderator

Why am I feeling this way? Why don’t feel as if I’m accepted.

Refer to: What an Autistic Shutdown feels like for me – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Naf9F2dBR5w&t=8s

A huge example to illustrate to get a better understanding about how we work as Autistics that there is someone that’s outside our community group and that they want to know more and are curious, ask some questions or just one question to start that conversation of a topic that they may want to know more of like a person with autism as opposed to someone who is autistic. Yes, for many of us who are autistics we aren’t all experts in the field of Autism even though we live with it we share our life stories and experiences
to what we go through on a daily with it. We know for a fact that there has been so many myths/misconceptions and this is still a mystery to the puzzle. Some people in the group that may be policing the language that needs to be said and that some may say, “You shouldn’t say that on behalf of this community, you
should say autistic person.” And then they may not respond to the question or don’t like invite a continuing conversation and then the conversation stops or ‘ shutdown and then the person who’s trying to learn and get involved somehow, will end up leaving having a negative response or negative thoughts of what the community that they’re trying to be a part of is really about. I feel as if somehow some of us on the community is preventing people that are interested to learn more about us and the community to come to some understanding about us as well as us we should be creating awareness and acceptance of each other. Maybe to better understand someone that they may know of that has autism or someone that they’re maybe being their support person to understand how they go about things in an everyday situation. Whatever the reason, again I can’t stress it enough that we should be able to feel included and accepted. We know that we are sometimes misunderstood when we are autistics. Yes, we are always going to ask questions and be the mister Curious George. Yet, the ones that are in the community are solely focusing on the way of how some words are said and how they approach that matter or address these different topics at hand.
I have seen in some autistic groups for some that are wanting to know more about us that there are statements, curiosities, questions and so much more that
is coming from a lack of understanding yet isn’t malicious as these type of people are just trying to be friendly and may be cautious at the same time. With that lack of understanding then some of the autistics in the community will lash out at them in a negative way. You see some of the autistics in the community will put up a wall of defense or a guard up and expect others to know what to say and how to say it to them and then it is like “Don’t say anything to us until you get these terms right!” This really hurts me when I see or hear others that goes through some experiences like this as we should all be about inclusivity and trying to gain a better understanding about us a bit more and so on and so forth. Please don’t go bashing me as don’t get me wrong that there are a minority of people
in the Autistic community that’s not like this at all. I know that there are loads of people that are willing to open up and answer any questions that you may have
and open up for conversations regardless of language. They’ll talk from their own personal experiences as opposed to talking on behalf of everybody.


Social exclusion is a form of discrimination. It occurs when people are wholly or partially excluded from participating in the economic, social and political life of their community, based on their belonging to a certain social class, category or group .

To end this afterthought: Let’s be real I am worried and concerned about the long term effects and consequences of this because the more the conversations that were to be had and that they’re
being shutdown along with the refusal of not involving people or including others that may not know about the Autistic Community from when they didn’t do it correctly or
with the right language. I feel that we are separating ourselves to the point of no return and that there are some Autistics in the community that their main goal in terms of advocacy and awareness is inclusion and acceptance. We need to bridge that gap between people who are and who are not on the spectrum and this is sadly as I can see isn’t happening at the moment because of the way certain members in the community is acting and behaving towards others. Like shutting each other down or even just some topics down and refusing to talk because it’s not seen as correct in their eyes. Or their opinions/views has gone in a way of having a very open and honest discussion to educate and advocate. From my experience at hand, I know firsthand with the many conversations I’ve had
with people that may want to have an autistic friendly environment, or to open up some services to us Autistics, and that they’re worried it may not be deemed good enough or seen as good enough in our community and that they may get backlash from it. Because, everything that they do, will not appeal to everybody.
Or be deemed as not suitable for everybody based on their needs and so much more. They may have others judging them for not being autism inclusive and it’s not
autism friendly. This really upsets me to see or hear this as there are some people that are willing to open their doors to many of us Autistics and giving us a chance in employment as well as just wanting to learn more about our community in general as well as in terms of their business as well as being worried to how we are going to react. People are afraid of us as we are monsters or something or just scared of our community as a whole and scared of opening doors up to us for a chance or an opportunity to work with them. I just want to try and share my thoughts or opinions and actually say to these one that are trying to give us that chance to not be afraid of us. I am in this community and that I wouldn’t blame them for being scared of us as I am scared to just being in a community that we still have a lot to learn and educate in ourselves.