3 Methods on How To Not Get Depressed By Loneliness

*DISCLAIMER: I’m no medical doctor, I’m just your normal Jo Blogs sharing her life experiences and raising awareness for autism and mental health. If you see anything out of the ordinary or feel out of the ordinary for yourself or your loved on, I advise you to seek help and answers with a medical professional as I don’t forever condone self-harm.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ke1AKTMSXLA

Most, if not all, of us feel loneliness at some point in our lives.
Unfortunately, loneliness can become chronic and result in depression if it is not dealt with effectively and professionally.
Therefore, it is crucial to deal with your loneliness in healthy ways in order to reduce the likelihood of developing a longer-term condition.
There are ways to avoid depression from loneliness by using coping skills when you feel lonely, increasing social connection, and exploring your feelings of loneliness
to avoid depressions.
So, here I am today to give you all some advice on these three methods on how to not get depressed by loneliness.

So, as you’re aware basically I’m going to be talking about as I said about a how to comprehension guide for you guys on dealing with loneliness and hopefully the methods and techniques that will help you. So, there are three different methods – the first one is Method 1- Reducing Your Loneliness, Method 2 – Increasing Social Connection and Method 3 is Preventing Depression from Loneliness

So, let’s begin this.

Method 1: Reducing Loneliness

1.Change the way you think about being alone

The nature of our thoughts determines the quality of our life whether it is sad, happy and contented.
Also, happy, optimistic, positive thoughts, emotions, and feelings generate a zing in our system which makes the blood flow freely and heartbeat joyously if we’re in that happy states.
They create a spring in our feet and spur us to action. Let us remember the age-old saying that the mind- thoughts- can move the mountains.
Pessimistic, sad and gloomy thoughts, on the other hand, create inertia and force us to stay bed-bound.
They way we usually think and act upon certain things will determine every outcome or situation that we face in life of our everyday challenges. Yet, what we do and say etc is up to us and starts with us and ends with us. We can be our own worse enemy when we create some negativity in our lives.
Our actions are the practical manifestations of our thoughts.

It is quite clear, therefore, that we must bring about a change in the way we think in order to create happiness and a sense of fulfillment in our life.
A good thing about our brain is that it willingly adopts any changes that we bring about in our thinking patterns.

Your thoughts can change your feelings (loneliness, depression) and behaviors (how well we cope and how well we adapt to the changes around us).
If you think negatively about being alone, you will most likely have negative feelings about it.
However, if you embrace being alone you may be able to better cope with it and reduce your loneliness overall.
Use positive self-talk. For example, tell yourself that being alone can be a good thing.
Tell yourself, “It’s okay to be alone. I like my own company.” This can help you build up your tolerance to being alone.
When you find yourself thinking negatively about being alone such as, “I hate being alone. I’m so lonely. This is terrible,”
Think of some alternative thoughts that might be more realistic and helpful. For example, you could think or tell yourself,
“I can deal with being alone. I feel lonely but I know I can cope with it. It’s not so bad. Alone time can be a positive thing.”

Note: I’ll share some ways for us to change our thoughts of the negatives in one of my next videos.

  1. Manage your thoughts about your social interactions.

Again, it’s okay to be lonely for a time if you need it for yourself to better yourself as a person.
Don’t forever feel that you should be socialising all the time in other words too.
It’s a given that sometime in our lives that we’ll face loneliness. Yet, the question is as I shared is or can loneliness be a good thing for us?
Loneliness does has it’s pros and cons along with its benefits and disadvantages.
We need to be aware of our feelings and emotions and everything around us to what’s going on and hopefully, to react in the right way
when these situations that we come to face, hits us in our face.

People will feel lonely for quite a number of reasons, which may be includings something like simple social awkwardness and intentional isolation.
Some people may even feel lonely when they are surrounded by people because they lack meaningful connections with those people.
Everyone experiences loneliness sometimes in our lives as I’ve mentioned, but it is never pleasant to any of us. Dealing with loneliness can take many forms, such as
including meeting new people, learning to appreciate your alone time, and reconnecting with our own family and so much more.
You can click above me to what I shared about a few tips and advice on how to overcome and deal with loneliness on a daily.
(Video – Dealing with Loneliness [How To Guide] Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qPx-BEzDJzg )

Studies show that how you think about yourself in relation to others has an impact on your level of loneliness.
Fear of rejection can discourage social activity and increase feelings of loneliness.
As we know that fear of rejection is an emotion and sometimes many of us we feel that kind of feeling based on that if we’re trying to
socialise and more.
If you are thinking you are inferior, this may lead to worrying about social interactions. Remind yourself that we are each different but we are equal. We are worthy.
Expect positive outcomes instead of negative ones when interacting with others. Think of alternative ways that the situation might pan out for you.
For example, perhaps the person will like you! It may not always turn out as badly as you think it will.

3. Surround yourself with animals.

Animals are the next best thing to humans. There is a reason some therapeutic treatments involve therapy dogs or nature-related activities.
Research suggests that being in nature or around animals can give you sense of calm and reduce loneliness. Get a dog, cat, or any other pet (fish, hamster, etc). However, don’t overload yourself with too many pets that are difficult to manage. Make sure you identify first what you are prepared to take care of (a fish vs. a dog can be a big difference). If you’ve never owned a pet before, start small.
If you cannot get a pet, go to the pet store and spend some time with the animals. You could also visit a zoo, or offer to watch a friend’s pet for the weekend.
With almost no effort at all, pets manage to bring so much joy into our lives. They make us laugh, comfort us when we’re sick or upset, and are always there for us no matter what.
Not everyone understands the bond between human and the animal or the beast, though, or even realizes how much pets do for their owners. We will take a quick look at ten of the benefits of having a furry friend.

1) They keep you fit

All breeds of dog need regular, daily walks in order to stay happy and healthy, and so do we!
However, we sometimes have the tendency to get a bit lazy – if that sounds like you, a dog is the perfect cure! They’ll be dragging you out the front door and making you run around the park each and every day. Yes, a dog is possibly the best personal trainer you could ask for.

2) They make sure you’re never lonely

If you live by yourself, or your partner works different shift patterns to you, it can get awfully lonely at home – unless you have a pet, of course!
Cats and dogs make great companions – they’ll always be waiting for you to come home and they’ll be happy to lend an ear should you want to moan about the awful day you’ve had and won’t answer you back if you did have a bad day. Plus, most of the time, they’re up for a snuggle on the sofa.

3) They lower your stress levels

Modern life is stressful and high levels of anxiety can lead to numerous health problems. Luckily, pets can really help us relax –stroking your cat or simply watching fish swim around in a tank can make your worries melt away. Previous studies have proven that pet owners tend to have lower blood pressure, cholesterol and triglyceride levels than people who don’t own a pet. That means having a furry pal can decrease the chances of suffering a heart attack later in life.

4) They can help you make friends

The pet owner community is an incredibly friendly one – you’ll often find that people will stop to talk to you about your dog in the park.
Having a pet is a great way to meet new people and create bonds quickly, especially if you’re not too good at small talk.
You never know, owning a dog may help you meet the love of your life!

5) They can improve your immune system

Pets spend a lot of their time outside and therefore bring all sorts of dirt and germs into your home.
This isn’t necessarily a bad thing though – the additional germs can help improve your immunity to colds and other mild illnesses.
In fact, previous studies have shown that babies who live with a dog tend to experience fewer infections and are generally healthier than those who don’t.

6) They can stop your children from developing allergies

While it’s no guarantee that owning a pet will stop your children from developing certain allergies, the evidence suggests the dander in their fur may help.
However, it’s worth noting that you should never own a cat or dog if you are allergic to them – you won’t suddenly become immune!

7) They can catch cancer early

It’s no secret that a dogs’ sense of smell is incredible, but did you know that some canines are capable of detecting cancer?
Several pet owners have reported that their dog saved their lives after they noticed they were constantly pawing at, sniffing or even licking a tumor hidden underneath the skin.

8) They can teach kids responsibility

Every parent has heard the question ‘Can I have a pony/puppy/hamster?’ at some point in their child’s life. It’s no secret that kids love animals, and if they’re old enough,
having one as a pet can actually teach them a lot of important skills. Not only will they learn the practical skills required to own a pet, such as cleaning out the cage,
grooming and teaching tricks; they’ll also develop their nurturing and empathy skills, which are vital in later life.

9) They make you feel safe

Not everyone likes being home alone, but having a cat or dog there can make you feel a lot safer.
Plus, burglars are less likely to target a house that’s clearly home to a dog. Some breeds make excellent guard dogs and will even protect you when you’re out for a run or walk.

10) They can provide companionship to children with learning difficulties

Children with autism and similar learning disorders often find it difficult talking to fellow human beings, but they have no problem at all with chatting away to
friendly animals. After all, your pets can’t answer back and will always keep your secrets!

Looking after a pet is a big responsibility, but when you consider all the benefits above, they make all that hard work worthwhile.
Whether you choose to keep a cat, dog, horse or hamster, they’ll make a great companion.

  1. Read.

When alone, reading can give you a sense of social connection and help combat loneliness.
You can connect with the author or characters in the book. Reading can also transport you to another place and distract you momentarily from feeling lonely. Read as much as possible, because reading not only calms you but also helps keep your mind fresh and active.
Pick a novel that you can read for pleasure.
Choose a genre that you enjoy such as adventure, fantasy, or sci-fi. You can even read a magazine.
Many books are available online as well.

Method 2: Increasing Social Connection

1. Develop healthy relationships.

Individuals who have satisfying interpersonal relationships and friendships show reduced depression,
a more positive outlook, and a better ability to deal with challenging situations and feelings overall.
Social support can help reduce stress that is associated with feeling lonely.
Going to therapy and going to family therapy are good ways to work on your relationships with whoever it may be. Focus on engaging in social activities that can lead to friendships.
Keep away from cynical and negative people if they bring you down. It’s okay to cut people out of your family, friends or whoever they are that are negative
because we shouldn’t have to deal with negativity on the daily.
Ask for help when you need it. Again asking for help is never a sign of weakness. It’s the sign of strength and courage. It’s a sign of you accepting and coming to terms as an acknowledgement in yourself that there’s something not quite right for yous.

2. Have realistic expectations when you socialize.


Rejection can be more of a worry when you feel lonely. Remember that rejection is another feeling/emotion that we feel. After all, we are humans and we are meant to feel things
Try not to put pressure on yourself to make a new best friend or a fantastic conversation with each social interaction that you get involved with.
Instead, try to enjoy the feeling of connecting in the moment. Social networking can be an option.
Social networking allows you to connect with other people without having to worry too much about rejection. Try leaving a comment on someone’s post, or sending someone a short message.
When you’re socializing in person however on the other hand, whether with someone you know or a stranger, try making small talk. You can start with the friendly question, “How is your day going?”. Asking someone how their day is going may not seem like the start of a profound conversation, but it allows you to make a small connection with anyone you meet.
And again in saying this that it may also lead into another conversation in depth later on. If it doesn’t lead you to a deeper conversation that’s fine. If not, you’ve still shared a moment with another person and that you’re showing that other person also that you’re showing some interest with that person or vice versa they’re showing interest in you while you’re being open.

3. Be open to meeting new people.

Yes, it can be hard for us coming down to being lonely, being social awkward or whatever it may be in this day and age. I will admit that I am still
a little bit socially awkward, shy and all that in myself but then again it’s just me. Signing up for a dating website, joining a group or club, volunteering, or taking a class are just a few ways to put yourself in situations where you’ll meet new people who share common interests with you.
If you are interested in and connect with someone, a great way to follow up is by adding him or her on a social networking site (Facebook, Instagram, Twitter or what have you).
Or even on your cellphone, if you want to have the courage to phone them or text them.
Remember that the relationships you form may not grow deeper right away, and that’s OK. For now, focus on how it feels to connect with people again in that moment.

  1. Be proud of yourself when you make progress.

It can be tough to get out there and socialize with people. Each time you make a connection, whether it’s making small talk with a stranger or asking someone in your class out for coffee, be proud of yourself for reaching out.
Feeling positive about your social achievements will help you continue making an effort to connect with people. As your social needs are increasingly met, you’ll begin to feel less lonely.

Method 3: Preventing Depression from Loneliness

  1. Engage in positive activities.

Doing positive activities may help reduce the risk of depression, and it’s an effective strategy for regulating emotions.
Research shows that focusing on positive activities can shift attention away from distressing thoughts that’s on our mind. On the other hand, focusing on something negative can cause increased distress and other negative stuff .
Go for a light walk in the park or some calming place.
Watch a funny movie. Laughter really can be the best medicine after all. Laughter can also be your best friend. Laughter has been shown to increase overall health and happiness.
Social support is a crucial component of preventing depression. If you can, try to spend time with or talk to others in order to prevent depression.
Call up a friend, coworker, or family member so that you can therefore talk to them.

2. Use mindfulness.

If you have been depressed previously due to loneliness or any other reason behind it,
because as I said before that loneliness can be a profactor that interlaps with mental health; be it depression, anxiety and everything else.
But in saying this, mindfulness can help reduce the likelihood that you will get depressed again.

Benefits of Mindfulness

There are many benefits for Mindfulness and The cultivation of mindfulness has roots in Buddhism,
but most religions include some type of prayer or meditation technique that helps shift your thoughts away from your usual preoccupations toward an
appreciation of the moment and a larger perspective on life.

Professor emeritus Jon Kabat-Zinn, founder and former director of the Stress Reduction Clinic at the University of Massachusetts Medical Center,
helped to bring the practice of mindfulness meditation into mainstream medicine and demonstrated that practicing mindfulness can bring improvements in both physical and
psychological symptoms as well as positive changes in health, attitudes, and behaviors.

  1. Mindfulness improves well-being.

Increasing your capacity for mindfulness supports many attitudes that contribute to a satisfied life.
Being mindful makes it easier to savor the pleasures in life as they occur, helps you become fully engaged in activities, and creates a
greater capacity to deal with adverse events of the here and now. By focusing on the here and now, many people who practice mindfulness find that they are less likely to
get caught up in worries about the future or regrets over the past, are less preoccupied with concerns about success and self-esteem issues, and are better able to form deep
connections with others.

  1. Mindfulness improves physical health.

If greater well-being isn’t enough of an incentive, scientists have discovered that mindfulness techniques help improve physical health in a number of ways.
Mindfulness can: help relieve stress, treat heart disease, lower blood pressure, reduce chronic pain, , improve sleep, and alleviate gastrointestinal difficulties.

3. Mindfulness improves mental health.

In recent years, psychotherapists have turned to mindfulness meditation as an important element in the treatment of a number of problems,
including: depression, substance abuse, eating disorders, couples’ conflicts, anxiety disorders, and obsessive-compulsive disorder

How does mindfulness work?

Some experts believe that mindfulness works, in part, by helping people to accept their experiences—including painful emotions—rather than react to them with aversion and avoidance.

It’s become increasingly common for mindfulness meditation to be combined with psychotherapy, especially cognitive behavioral therapy. This development makes good sense, since both meditation and cognitive behavioral therapy share the common goal of helping people gain perspective on irrational,
maladaptive, and self-defeating thoughts.

Mindfulness techniques

There is more than one way to practice mindfulness however, but the goal of any mindfulness technique is to achieve a state of alert, focused relaxation by deliberately paying
attention to thoughts and sensations without judgment. This allows the mind to refocus on the present moment. All mindfulness techniques are a form of meditation.

  1. Basic mindfulness meditation – Sit quietly and focus on your natural breathing or on a word or “mantra” that you repeat silently.
    Allow thoughts to come and go without judgment and return to your focus on breath or mantra.
  2. Body sensations – Notice subtle body sensations such as an itch or tingling without judgment and let them pass. Notice each part of your body in succession from head to toe.
  3. Sensory – Notice sights, sounds, smells, tastes, and touches. Name them “sight,” “sound,” “smell,” “taste,” or “touch” without judgment and let them go.
  4. Emotions – Allow emotions to be present without judgment. Practice a steady and relaxed naming of emotions: “joy,” “anger,” “frustration.”
    Accept the presence of the emotions without judgment and let them go.
  5. Urge surfing – Cope with cravings (for addictive substances or behaviors) and allow them to pass. Notice how your body feels as the craving enters.
    Replace the wish for the craving to go away with the certain knowledge that it will subside.

Mindfulness has also been shown to help individuals who feel lonely.
Mindfulness is about giving your full attention to what you are currently doing and experiencing. Often we are distracted from the present moment by thoughts about the past
(regrets) or future (worry about what might happen). Practice mindfulness as often as you can, especially when you start to become lonely or depressed.
Try a mindfulness walk. Simply take a walk down the street and focus solely on your walk. Notice the sounds you hear, the things you see, the smells, and how you feel.
Is it hot or cold out? Is there a breeze or is the air still? Do you see any birds in the sky? Is it cloudy or sunny out?
Another mindfulness exercise is mindfulness-based meditation and guided imagery. Close your eyes and imagine you are in a safe place.
This can be a beach, your bedroom, or sitting under your favorite tree at a local park. Imagine that you are there. Experience your safe place in its entirety including what it feels like (i.e. the sand beneath your toes), smells like (salty air, fish),
looks like (notice the whole environment), tastes like (if you eat something or drink something), as well as what you hear (the waves crashing). When you have spent sufficient time in your safe space and feel relaxed you can open your eyes.
You can practice mindfulness easily at home, by paying close attention to whatever you are currently doing.
For example, if you are washing the dishes – focus your attention solely on this experience. Notice how it feels on your hands,
the temperature of the water, as well as what you see. Often our minds will wander when we do these types of mundane activities.
Observe any thoughts that come into your mind, and without judgment, let them pass. Accept your thoughts and then re-direct your attention back to what you are doing.
You can research and find many more mindfulness exercises by conducting a quick google search or using some of the other apps and techniques from your cellphone.

  1. Take care of your health.

Depression poses a significant health risk because it can negatively affect medical afflictions.
Overall health is positively related to mental health and well-being.
Health issues can also contribute to feelings of depression. In order to effectively prevent depression due to loneliness, you will need to focus on maintaining your physical health.

Improving your nutrition by eating healthier can help prevent and decrease mental health problems.
Your body needs proper nutrients to function optimally. Ditch the junk food and focus on eating plenty of proteins, complex carbohydrates, fruits, and vegetables.

Make sure you get adequate rest.

This means at least 8 hours of sleep per night. Maintain a sleep schedule by going to bed at the same time each night
and waking up at the same time each morning (even on weekends).

Exercise regularly.


Aerobic exercise has been linked to reductions in depression.Walk, run, hike, do anything that gets you moving.
If you have any current medical conditions (especially those that affect depression) make sure you have regular visits to your doctor.

  1. Consider getting treatment.

If you think you are already doing all that you can and still feel lonely, or your loneliness is growing into depression, it may be wise to seek expert help from your professionals. Therapists and psychologists can assist you in developing a clinical and research-based plan to reduce your
depression or loneliness.

Therapies such as Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy as I said before and Interpersonal Therapy have been shown to reduce and prevent repeated depression.
Contact your medical insurance provider to inquire about obtaining therapeutic services such as therapy or psychotropic medication (antidepressants, etc).

If you lack in medical insurance, you can conduct a local search of low-cost mental health services. Many government agencies also provide low-cost health insurance.
Psychiatrists can prescribe you medication if you are open to that. Ask your primary care doctor or therapist for a referral.

Dealing with Loneliness [How To] (Comprehension Guide)

It’s a given that sometime in our lives that we’ll face loneliness. Yet, the question is can loneliness be a good thing. Loneliness does has it’s pros and cons along with its benefits and disadvantages. We need to be aware of our feelings and emotions and everything around us to what’s going on. We need to sometimes feel in our inner self.

People will feel lonely for quite a number of reasons, which may be including simple social awkwardness and intentional isolation. Some people may even feel lonely when they are surrounded by people because they lack meaningful connections with those people. Everyone experiences loneliness sometimes, but it is never pleasant. Dealing with loneliness can take many forms, including meeting new people, learning to appreciate your alone time, and reconnecting with your family. Here are some methods while you’re reading this article/blog into how to overcome and deal with loneliness.

Method 1: Understanding Your Feelings of Loneliness

  1. Identify the reasons why you feel lonely.

    In order to make changes that will truly help you, you will need to take some time to figure out why you are feeling lonely. For example, say you assume that you are lonely because you don’t have enough friends and you go out and make more friends. You may still feel lonely after making new friends if your loneliness is the result of having too many friends and a lack of meaningful connections. Consider some of the following questions to help you determine why you are feeling lonely:

When do you feel the most lonely?

Do certain people make you feel more lonely when you are around them?

How long have you been feeling this way?

What does feeling lonely make you want to do?

2. Start a journal to track your thoughts and feelings. 

Journaling can help you to understand your feelings of loneliness better and it is also a great way to relieve stress. Journaling can also when you write down your thoughts and feelings can be a good way to at least see how you’ve progressed in your everyday life situations that you face on the daily. To get started with journaling, choose a comfortable place and plan to devote about 20 minutes per day to writing. You can start by writing about how you are feeling or what you are thinking, or you can use a prompt. Some prompts you might use include:

“I feel lonely when…”

“I feel lonely because…”

When did you first start feeling lonely? How long have you felt this way?

3. Practice meditation. 

Some research has suggested that meditation may ease feelings associated with loneliness and depression. Meditation has so many benefits to help us mentally and physically. Meditation is also a great way to get more in touch with your feelings of loneliness and start to understand where they come from.

Meditation is a habitual process of training your mind to focus and redirect your thoughts.

You can use it to increase awareness of yourself and your surroundings. Many people think of it as a way to reduce stress and develop concentration.People also use the practice to develop other beneficial habits and feelings, such as a positive mood and outlook, self-discipline, healthy sleep patterns and even increased pain tolerance.

Learning to meditate takes time, practice, and guidance, so your best bet is to find a meditation class in your area. If no classes are available in your area, you can also buy CDs that will help you learn how to meditate. You can also use some apps that are readily available from your phone or tablet.

To get started with meditation, find a quiet spot and get comfortable. You can either sit in a chair or on a cushion on the floor with your legs crossed. Close your eyes and concentrate on your breathing. As you focus on your breathing, try not to get distracted by your thoughts. Just let them happen and pass by.

Without opening your eyes, observe the world around you. Pay attention to how you feel as well. What do you hear? What do you smell? How do you feel? Physically? Emotionally?

Benefits of Mediation (Science-based)

There are so many benefits for meditation and I’ll only be sharing at least 12 of the benefits and they’re as follows:

1. Reduces Stress.

2. Controls anxiety.

3. Promotes emotional health.

4. Enhances self-awareness.

5. Lengthens attention span.

6. May reduce age-related memory loss.

7. Can generate kindness.

8. May help fight any addictions.

9. Improves sleep.

10. Helps control pain.

11. Can decrease blood pressure.

12. Meditation can be done anywhere.

4. Consider talking to a therapist about how you have been feeling. 

It may be hard to figure out why you feel lonely and how to move past those feelings. A licensed mental health professional can help you to understand and work through your loneliness. Never be afraid to ask for help when you’re dealing with anything on your own. Some of the trained professionals can help you get back on track to full recovery. Meanwhile, feeling lonely may indicate that you are depressed or that you have another underlying mental health condition. Talking to a therapist can help you understand what is going on and decide on the best course of action. If you want to explore why you’re lonely, finding a qualified mental health professional is an excellent option. You can try joining a club, putting yourself out there to meet new people, and making a list of people in your life and reaching out to them, but if those don’t work and you feel like you’re stuck, a therapist can help you work through your thoughts and feelings.

Method 2: Comforting Yourself

  1. Realize that you aren’t alone. 

Loneliness is a normal part of being human, but it can make you feel like you are abnormal. Remember sometimes feeling is just some feeling and emotion that we have felt once in a while. It’s okay to be alone for a time if need be. Key thing to remember is to reach out to a friend or family member and talk with that person about how you are feeling. As you tell someone about your feelings, you can also ask if they have had these feelings too. This process of reaching out and sharing with someone will help you to see that you are not alone.

Try saying something like, “Lately I have been feeling lonely and I wondered if you have ever felt this way.”

If you do not have a friend or family member to talk to, reach out to a teacher, counselor, or pastor.

2. Move forward.

 Instead of persistently dwelling on how alone you feel, do things to get your mind off of your loneliness. Take a walk, ride your bike or read a book. Explore activities and hobbies, and don’t be afraid to try new things. Having experience gives you a basis upon which you can comment in more social situations (thus talk to more people) and strike up conversations that will interest other people.

Keep yourself busy. Having down time is what causes feelings of loneliness to creep in. Throw yourself into work or extracurricular activities.

3. Do social activities by yourself. 


If you don’t have someone to go out with all of the time, don’t let that stop you from getting out and enjoying yourself. For example, if you want to go out to dinner or to a movie on a date, then take yourself out to a movie or to a nice restaurant. Although, at first, it may seem awkward to be doing things by yourself that you might normally do with someone else, don’t hold yourself back. It is not strange to be by yourself and out doing things! Once you remember why you did these things before, you can enjoy the activity for itself again.

Take a book, magazine, or journal with you if you go out to eat or have coffee on your own, so you’ll be occupied when you would usually be conversing. Bear in mind that people do go out on their own on purpose just to have “me” time by themselves; it is not as if people will look at you sitting alone and assume you have no friends.

It may take some time to get used to the feeling of being out by yourself. Don’t give up if your first few attempts are a little awkward.

4 Consider getting a pet.



 If you’re truly struggling without companionship, consider adopting a dog or cat from your local animal shelter. Pets have been domestic companions for centuries for a reason, and winning the trust and affection of an animal can be a deeply rewarding experience

Be a responsible pet owner. Make sure your pet is spayed or neutered, and only commit to bringing a pet into your life if you’re prepared to handle the daily tasks of caring for it.

Method 3: Getting Social Again

  1. Get involved in activities.

 To make new friends, you will have to get out and get involved in things. Consider joining a sports league, taking a class, or volunteering within your community. If you are very shy, find a group for social anxiety, even if it has to be online. Look on places like Craigslist, Meetup, or local news websites for activities in your area.

Don’t attend functions with the sole idea of making friends or meeting people. Try to go with no expectations whatsoever and to enjoy yourself regardless of what happens. Look for activities that interest you and that also involve groups of people like book clubs, church groups, political campaigns, concerts and art exhibitions.

2. Challenge yourself to take the initiative in social relationships. 


Making new friends often requires you to take the first step and invite others out to do things. Don’t wait for people to approach you: you should approach them. Ask the person if they want to chat or get a coffee. You must always show interest in other people before they will show interest in you.

Be yourself as you try to make new friends. Don’t try to impress a new person by misrepresenting yourself. That may lead to the end of the new friendship before it even gets started.

Be a good listener. Pay close attention when people are talking. It is important to be able to respond to what the person has just said to demonstrate that you were listening or they may feel like you do not care.

3. Spend time with your family.

 Working to deepen the relationships with your family may also help you to stop feeling so lonely. Even if you don’t have a great history with a family member, you can still try to repair relationships by starting with an invitation. For example, you could ask a family member that you haven’t seen in a while to go out to lunch or meet you for coffee.

When trying to rebuild or deepen your relationships with family members, you can use some of the same strategies you would use to gain new friends. Take the initiative to ask the person out, be yourself, and be a good listener.

3. Be a pleasant presence. 

Draw people toward yourself by providing enjoyable company. Be complimentary rather than critical. For a casual comment, don’t nitpick other people’s clothes, habits or hair. They don’t need to be reminded they have a small stain on their shirt when they can’t do anything about it. They do need to hear that you think their sweater is cool or you like their personality. Don’t make a big deal of it, but just casually mention it when you like something. This is one of the best ice-breakers around and it builds trust steadily over time as people come to understand that you won’t criticize them.

4. Join an online community. 

Sometimes connecting with people online can be easier than connecting with them in person, but keep in mind that online interaction is not an equal substitution for face-to-face connections. However, sometime online communities can be valuable ways for you to share your thoughts and experiences, or ask questions to those who are going through similar situations. Online forums often allow you to help others while being helped yourself.

Remember to be safe when online. Not everyone is who they say they are and predators feed off loneliness.

METHOD 4: Enjoying Your Solitude

  1. Differentiate between loneliness and solitude. 

    Loneliness is when you are unhappy to be alone. Solitude is when you are happy to be alone. There is nothing wrong with solitude, wanting to, or enjoying being alone. Alone time can be useful and enjoyable.

2. Work on improving yourself and making yourself happy. 

Usually, when we’re devoting most of our time to other people, we tend to neglect ourselves. If you’re going through a period of loneliness, take advantage of it by doing the things that you want to do for yourself. This is a wonderful opportunity and you deserve to be happy!

3. Consider joining a gym. 

Working out and taking care of our bodies is usually the first thing that gets tossed aside when we get busy. If you’re spending less time with other people than normal, try using that time to exercise. If you exercise at a gym, you might even meet some new friends or a new special someone!

4. Learn a new skill.


 Taking time to indulge in a new hobby can help you to overcome feelings of loneliness, even if you are doing the hobby by yourself. You could learn to play an instrument, learn to draw, or learn to dance. Going and learning these subjects with others may help you meet new people but it will also give you a creative outlet for your feelings. Turn your loneliness into something beautiful!

Cook yourself a nice meal or make baked goods for friends or neighbors. Cooking up a meal is rewarding, you can channel your focus into something nourishing.

Consider joining a club to meet other people who enjoy this hobby as well.

5. Do something big. 

People oftentimes have something really big that they want to do and a thousand excuses not to do it. Have you ever wanted to write a book? Make a movie? Use your loneliness as an excuse to do something great. Who knows, maybe it will turn into something that helps others deal with their loneliness…

To end this: We are all in control of our lives and that we are in control of our thoughts, feelings, emotions as well as our actions. What we do with our lives, starts and ends with us. We are the writers and painters of our stories. Loneliness does take time to overcome but using the right methods and techniques we can sure better ourselves if we choose to.

Autism and Loneliness

“The most terrible poverty is loneliness and the feeling of being unloved. “Mother Theresa
This video is not just for people with Autism that has that has experienced loneliness as once in a while everyone has in their life.
I talked about my experiences in this as well as a few tips or advice for the ones that are going through this.

Just to bear in mind before I begin writing this as you read this written blog that many people have a misconception or misunderstanding about certain people that are autistic or on the autism spectrum of how an autistic should be acting, thinking etc. Every autistic is different no matter where they’re at in their age and development in life. Autistics do have a different wiring in their brain to how they may work and that all we need to know is that we are feeling accepted and understood by the ones that we are with no matter what. We shouldn’t feel like that we’re being judged by others or being looked at a different way. After all, we are human! We need to remember that despite all of this that not all autistics are the same. If you heard the saying if you meet one autistic, you’ve met one. Some of us doesn’t like having labels on any kind that people may throw at us, no matter what it is, we may have heard many of them. We need to remove some of the expectations about most people as well as to also remove the stigma around autism as there’s still a lot of work to be done here for us on the spectrum.

Have you ever met someone in your life that you feel that you can connect with them? Laugh with them? Joke with them? etc. As if like you’re really making a connection with them and that you feel that they’re understanding you and that you feel as if you’re loved and accepted by them, right? You feel like that you’re building a connection of some form of friendship/relationship with some people, no matter what along the way! No matter what it is. We know that we feel on top of the world, feeling like that we’re loved and accepted by the ones that we are with that we cherish and love. When it does happen when we find someone that we can connect with that we feel happy and at peace in ourselves and with them.

Have you ever felt that after that special connection you feel with someone that you’re with that you’ve got some similar interests and hobbies and thinking that you’re friends for life?

Have you ever felt alone and isolated and feel left in the dark for however long of some of the situations that we’ve faced didn’t go the way we wanted or expected or even go right for us in the first place? It doesn’t have to be a friendship that was broken down. It could be while you were in a relationship with someone that it went sour and that you both decided to go separate ways. Or it could be to do when you’ve been trying to connect with people and making friends until you realised who they truly were while you were struggling in your most difficult times of your life.

For me as an example into when I am doing my utmost best in making and keeping friends some people to misunderstand me or misread me into how or what I try to say to them. Sometimes, it can be a struggle with me into what I want to say as all of it is in my head and it’s racing around and it feels like I am vomiting out all my words. Figuratively speaking. It’s like what I’v shared before I feel that I have to mask up my feelings, actions thoughts and feelings just to fit inside a box full of expectations from what a neurotypical world of how and what they want me to say, think and act. Yet, we know that this doesn’t work that way in real life. It’s all about us accepting each other no matter what we have or for even accepting our faults, flaws and imperfections.

I have come to terms now that there’s always going to be someone who’s going to try and change me no matter what it is that they think it needs to be. Yet, I believe if I was to change something about myself it is about acknowledging that yes something needs to be changed and how we can actually change it based on our thoughts, experiences and the outcome of it all. Yes, we’re all changing in every day life of what goes on within ourselves and some of the situations that we face and choose to do what we can. We need to choose wisely of our battles that we face everyday as some will come at a cost. I’ve come to accepting what I’ve got and to work with all the different situations that I face and that I hope to find the right people who will accept me for me with all my faults, flaws and imperfections. Like I’ve been accepting of others to a point of who and what they are as a person. I learnt that sometimes we can’t forever change a person until we make a change in ourselves no matter what it is. I don’t need to be told what needs to be changed as I’m working on it myself as I’ve been learning to gain confidence and independence on my own without others. I know that there’s always going to be people around me that’ll not always like me or what have you yet we’re here for a reason and a purpose in life and it’s just finding that purpose and more. I believe strongly and wholeheartedly I shouldn’t have to change how I speak, act and think. All I am asking from others is to at least share with me what I can do better if I’m failing it all.

Was there ever a time in your life however that you felt that you felt every strongly in your heart that you’ve tried to reach out so many times and that you felt that not many people would want to be there and listen to you while you’re suffering in silence? You had some sort of niggling feeling and negative thinking that no-one was there for you or wanted to be there for you while you’re drowning in your own thoughts and situations that you were going through? Sometimes, people start to put labels on you about who and what you are as a person and that then you feel that you start to believe them. You feel that whenever you’re trying to reach out to someone that no matter what you’re going through of the situation at hand that they tend to ignore or push you away. There are reasons to why they’re pushing us away from our struggles. Maybe, they’re struggling with something that we’re not aware of. Sometimes, it takes guts for someone to raise their hands and ask for help. It takes more courage to actually accept that there’s something wrong and actually work with what is wrong and also knowing the first step is definitely acceptance. It’s a sign of weakness if we act upon our negative thoughts and feelings.

Don’t let the labels to what people call you define you. You know what you are and allow yourself to accept you for you.

For me, nine times out of ten, I will be trying my best to be around others like a little social butterfly regardless of my social anxiety and to be there for others to listen to them if they need someone to talk to. To be there for them by not judging them at all, to be patient with them. To be their advice or soundboard if they need it. I believe that we all should try and be there for someone in our lives no matter what the situation that they’re facing or going through. I believe that we should also try and be empathetic and to walk in their shoes to know what’s going on in their lives. We need to choose wisely to what we want to say to that someone who’s struggling.

Website: http://shareinspirequotes.blogspot.com/2013/06/just-being-there-for-someone-can.html

Let’s be real and honest here that we all go through stages and phases of loneliness and isolation here. We need to remember when we go through these stages and phases that it’s not our fault. I believe that everything does happen for a reason and that we need to learn from some of the struggles and situations that we face to why it happened. If it was supposed to be, it will be. It wasn’t meant for us to at least go through the struggle of any kind that they’ll definitely give us some life lessons along the way. It doesn’t matter if you’re male or female, young or old however, autistic or a neurotypical or even a child. We all go through these phases one way in our life. These phases do come and go like the seasons that changes all the time. Imagine it for now the four seasons that are cycling all in one time. That for example: you’re lonely, got friends, you’re lonely, you’re isolated or whatever else it may be. This is how it felt for me and this is how it is to this day for me on these type feelings or cycles.

This cycle shows us what happens when people are lonely.

I look at a clear example for loneliness in me the four seasons that there are changes and phases of life like for example the leaves falling off the tree Or they’ll change color. Or the flowers will bloom once in a while and then loses its petals. Or young animals being born. Everything and everyone will go through seasons of change. Question is are we willing to change anything about ourselves? Are willing to accept that something needs to be changed?

I guess you all can feel me that there’s some parts that I’m dealing or facing right now that I do my utmost best to socialise as much as possible with others around me. (Reference: Friendships and Socialisation playlist on YouTube which you can click here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLD1nCoeovTZ5FRKGUeYX9bZc7ENxkNhbD).

I’ll do my utmost best to socialise regardless of my social energy tank in how full or empty it is. I still will push forward as best as I can. In one of the videos that’s on my playlist should clearly explain about the social energy tank in how it works for us autistics.

I must admit, hell yes I’m experiencing loneliness once in a while. I don’t need people to try and insult me or criticise me at all. Sometimes, in my experience with loneliness it can be a good thing for a time having its benefits and it can also be a bad thing. With me for sometime, I had a fear of being alone or just lonely, yet I try to weigh up its pros and cons of me being lonely.

There are two different types of distinct loneliness and they are as follows: Unintentional and Intentional Loneliness. What are they you maybe questioning about these two terms that I’m sharing with you all.

Merriam Webster defines: Unintentional:  not done or by intention design not intentional an unintentional effect causing unintentional harm/offense.
Intentional:  done by intention or design INTENDED intentional damage.

Intentional loneliness is when a person is trying to be active in socialising yet they’re on their own. Minding their own business and not talking to anyone at all. Why is this? There are a lot of reasons. Maybe they’ve been bullied. Maybe they’ve tried to open up to people and then when they do they feel that their trust or lack of has been broken. Maybe they’ve tried to open up and gain some confidence in themselves and by being around people and it took them a whole while or took them a while to get to that stage in their life of being confident and being able to trust people around them. Another reason could be a death in the family or a close friend that has passed on or maybe last but not least, they just woke up and chose to make that decision to not to communicate or not to talk at all.

The other hand of the meaning of unintentional loneliness is that you’re trying your best to fit in or blend in with others, trying to get attention from your friends or family in a social gathering yet parents are talking with their peers. I’ve learnt that we shouldn’t have to blend in just to feel accepted or blend in to make friends. We should be able to be ourselves and who cares if we’re the black sheep amongst the white sheep. We’re born to stand out. We’re born to be different. We’re born to make a difference in this world if we choose to that is. For an example- you’re not going to be noticed at all and not going to be fitting in.

I’ll be sharing how to overcome or what you can do in dealing with loneliness in my next blog post. Do keep an eye out on this.

To end this blog:
It is understandable that we all feel alone sometimes in our lives. Maybe, something has happened in our lives no matter what it is for example again going through a traumatic experience such as being sexually assaulted, bullying, losing trust in people or lacking in confidence etc. The thing is if you stay isolated or alone long enough, and you keep pushing away as there’s some people that are being real and true that wants to be there for us through it all.
Advice to the viewers to watch through the video I’ve added in this blog.

allyouneedtoknowabout #Raynaud’sDisease [2018]

#allyouneedtoknowabout #Raynaud’sDisease [2018]

 

#allyouneedtoknow #raynaud’sdisease #aspieanswers

Raynaud syndrome, also known as Raynaud’s phenomenon, is a medical condition in which spasm of arteries causes episodes of reduced blood flow.
Typically the fingers, and less commonly the toes, are involved. Rarely, the nose, ears, or lips are affected.
The episodes result in the affected part turning white and then blue. Often, there is numbness or pain.
As blood flow returns, the area turns red and burns.
The episodes typically last minutes but can last up to several hours.

Raynaud’s disease, smaller arteries that supply blood to your skin narrow, limiting blood circulation to affected areas (vasospasm).

Women are more likely than men to have Raynaud’s disease, also known as Raynaud or Raynaud’s phenomenon or syndrome.
It appears to be more common in people who live in colder climates.

Episodes are often triggered by cold or emotional stress. There are two main types: primary Raynaud’s, when the cause is unknown,
and secondary Raynaud’s, which occurs as a result of another condition. Secondary Raynaud’s can occur due to a connective tissue disorder, such as scleroderma or lupus, injuries to the hands, prolonged vibration, smoking, thyroid problems, and certain medications, such as birth control pills. Diagnosis is typically based on the symptoms.

I also talked about the following:
*signs & symptoms
*Causes- Primary & Secondary
*Risk Factors
*Mechanisms
*Diagnosis
*Treatments

Thanks for your support and thanks for watching.

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