Accountability

Accountability

No matter how hard it is in life we need to realise that we are the ones that are fully responsible and accountable for our own thoughts, feelings and actions. We can’t blame any girl that we may have got in our lives as we’re not the ones as a job to make you happy as we are all in charge of our happiness, future and destiny.
Never blame your wife/girlfriend or friends if you get frustrated, angry etc at her as the only reason behind this is that there’s something that’s triggering inside of you and only YOU. They’re your emotions and responsibility. When you feel these feelings take time to get present with them and to look within yourself and admit that something is wrong and ask yourself that it’s only YOU can heal yourself and you’re attracted to this woman for a reason and that reason alone is because she’s best suited to trigger all your childhood wounds, scars and emotions as she knows what pain is as she endures it more than we realise. She’s there for a reason and that reason also is to be there so that you can get healed from them if you choose to get healed. When you’re healed within yourself and no longer triggered by this then you’ll begin to wonder why you over them in the first place. FORGIVE IMMEDIATELY and focus on the future rather than carrying all the weight of the past. Don’t let your history hold you hostage. FORGIVENESS IS FREEDOM and CHOICE.

Forgiveness: Forgiving Others with Set Boundaries and Limits –Message to the Readers Based on What I’ve Learnt and Still Learning Today

Forgiveness:  Forgiving Others with Set Boundaries and Limits –Message to the Readers Based on What  I’ve Learnt and Still Learning Today.

 

Before I continue to write and share what’s on my mind and heart based on what I’ve learnt so far through my experiences and struggles, I’m not looking for sympathy or anything on this matter or regard to what I ‘ve written so far. No Way! What I’ve shared with you all with my open heart and trust is all based on my experiences throughout life of what I’ve learnt through my everyday struggles. I know that whatever has happened to me in the past needs to be forgotten. Yet, what we go through in life does tend to make us stronger and realise that there’ll always be some life lessons, or hidden messages along the way through life. Life is a teacher teaching us everything that we need to know through our everyday battles and struggles.

I may struggle sometimes, when it comes down to moving on forward, but I believe despite it all, I need to find a reasonable guy  in who I can trust and always turn to no matter what I may feel or think. I just need a guy to be able to understand me as well as not a little boy that would keep complaining to me of some dramas that may come now and again.

I know that we need to move forward and to try and forgive others that may have said and done wrong to us. I’m blessed to be alive no matter what had happened, as I’ve learnt now that I’m not a victim but a victor. I’m not a loser, despite losing some values that I had learnt along the way, be it my self-confidence, self-worth, integrity and more. I’m becoming a victor, despite having to pick up all the broken pieces that were left behind, and to start over and over again. This could although, seem like a never-ending battle and cycle which I endure and go through.I’m learning to choose my battles wisely. I’ve learnt that, no matter what battles and struggles that I go through, some can’t be won or fought.

I’m trying to grasp with my whole heart, life and hands to be able to trust the unknown to what needs to be done at least in the present to make my future a better one.

Yes, I strongly believe wholeheartedly that we all have our limits to what we can and can’t handle in our everyday lives.

Yes! I strongly believe wholeheartedly that we all have our limits to what we can do in our lives as well as in the lives of others that comes in our social circle. Yet, we need to remember that we can’t push them or try to change them no matter what we’ve hoped or dreamed of, based on our high expectations. In our life and journey, we are to learn, to grow, laugh, breathe, live and more.

Sometimes, I agree that life isn’t easy and that some situations we face can be difficult, yet some people may choose the easy way out by just running away from it than to confront it or tackle it head on. I believe that, we shouldn’t live our lives in the fast lane and not take the small things for granted. Sometimes, it’s like a jigsaw puzzle that mayn’t or won’t fit one way or another, but that’s okay. We shouldn’t have to live our lives in the fast lane that we need everything given to us now and on a silver platter. There are some situations we may face and we need to endure first as everything is a test in our lives – BIG and SMALL.

Have you ever felt so much burning heat or being mad at someone for what they may’ve said and done to you that it has hardened your heart with that hate, darkness and unforgiveness that in turn will cloud your thinking, perceptions, thoughts and judgement in your everyday life? Have you ever felt mad at someone for what he or she said and did to you, that the only think you think of is revenge, at whatever cost?

Have you ever felt any negativity or a form of a grudge denying the fact that you are not the problem, yet you are and not being able to accept the responsibilities and accountabilities for your own actions and words? Have you ever felt any negativity that others around you are getting ahead in their life and you’re stuck in a rut? Have you ever felt any negativity towards them that you’ll lose them as friends and all that they’ve tried to do for you were to help you, support you or even understand you as a person?

People in our lives come and goes in a season and a reason in time. Some may test us in our lives to make or break us. Sometimes, we need to know for ourselves when it’s enough or what we need to change ourselves as we all have our breaking points. We all need to learn self-respect and more to know what we can and can’t do as well as our limitations, and allow what’s acceptable and real. Again, that’s up to us by choice.

I have learnt that, sometimes it’s okay to be on our own for a while to allow us to learn more about ourselves and to grow, to be able to love ourselves and be comfortable in our own skin before sharing our life with someone that’ll come into our lives for ever. The “Forgive and forget” rule or guideline that people say to me means; I’m forgiving you with some set standards, boundaries and limits that are laid down between us. We all need to really accept what was in the past and what’s at present, no matter what’s happening or has happened. I believe that everything happens for a reason and that life is a teacher. We learn from every situation we may face, either big or small. I’m the type of person that’ll give people, whoever it may be, chances, yet learning that there’ll be a time when there will be no chances left. Giving you a chance is giving you a benefit of the doubt that you’ll change, yet it’s up to you. This is all about ‘Giving and taking’ in a relationship between the two of us

Trust is like a glass; once it is broken, it’ll take longer to fix and replace. Loyalties in relationships, as well as other factors are important. Misunderstandings, selfishness and other factors, cause a lot of relationships to end.

There are a lot of reasons why this happens, yet we need to look at every angle and find the best solution to it. I hear you say or think; why should we do this? Sometimes, people in our lives will eventually show their true colours and what they are.

This will also depend on who I let in my social circle and to socialise with the right people around me. To me, now is the time to love each other, forgive each other and being patient with one another, by allowing and accepting each other’s differences. We shouldn’t be at war as we should be able to be at peace one another, as well as being at peace within ourselves. Forgiveness tends to not always erase all the emotional scars and wounds that we’re carrying or had in the past and present. Yes, I’ll admit that it may open up the old wounds and more no matter what. Yet, we need to be able to trust ourselves through everything we go through.

Some of the emotional scars can be from our deepest hurts and darkest fears and secrets that we tend to hold so close to our hearts and chest. Then, being able to go through whatever it’s going on and what’s to become in the present and the future of the unknown and uncertainties with whatever else that’s going on like guilt, regret, hate, bitterness and more. Sometimes, there are times and days that we’ll need to let go of someone or some particular situation we’re facing as we need to move forward, based on our everyday choices- good or bad. We do learn as we make mistakes now and again and not to be afraid to make them. Yet, it’s only natural as after, all I’m human. I’ll need to learn from these mistakes. It may take others a little time, but it’s not a competition as it’s about getting to the finishing line in our own time. I’m doing the best I can, not to compare myself with others around me. I need to choose my battles wisely and to discern what’s real and not real. Forgiveness to me is being able to make the first move or first step forward to accept the differences as well as to accept whatever I can and can’t change. Forgiveness is also being able to not allow anything or anyone to affect me and my future. Forgiveness isn’t holding anything against you, and taking the negativity in my thoughts and actions away, so that in the end, you would be the one left behind.

Despite what others may say or think about you, now is the time to reflect and to change it before it’s too late or if you’re willing to change for yourself as we know that no one else can do this but YOU alone.

You may think and ask why I’m doing this to you despite how you treated and spoke to me. I’m not doing this out of pity; I’m doing this out of LOVE and more.

It’ll be good if you can be a man and apologise for the wrongdoings, taking responsibility for your own actions and words towards me. Another answer to why I’m doing this towards you is to not to live in fear, doubts, confusion, guilt and other emotional scars and wounds that I may’ve been hiding and carrying.

Forgiveness to me is making that stand by choice and not allowing anything or anyone that has come into my life in the past and present to steal anything from me, big or small. Forgiveness to me, is also not allow anything or anyone to what’ll become in the future, as it’s my choice to let this happen by letting the spirit steal or rob me of my peace, joy, hope, love and faith. Forgiveness to me; isn’t having to be angry or be jealous that’ll then lead to me seeking revenge of or on someone that may’ve done something evil in the past or present. What’ll this achieve in life? NOTHING. Seeking for revenge is like a set of chains that will hold us down with of Depression and Oppression and more, yet it can be broken based on the everyday choices, actions and decisions. Everything that we say and do starts and ends with us. I’m now making a stand to be positive and being able to acknowledge the words in my vocabulary and dictionary that I can and I will. I’m the only one responsible and accountable for everything in my life, no matter what it is or to come.

Forgiveness to me is to make peace with my past and present. It’s also taught me not allow any anger, resentment or whatever is in the past and present which’ll be in the way of my future. I need to stay strong and positive in the mind and also believe that no matter what there’ll be a brighter future for me in whatever I’m doing. I’m here for a reason and a purpose as I’ll have all my dreams and desires to be in the future and I deserve to achieve in life, and to make the impossible possible.

Where am I now at present, with myself and all? That’s a very good question at the moment. How I see it that this guy I’m currently with, just wants everything on his own and that, he thinks that relationship is hard work. But, it’s not about just thinking that you’re only there for the ride. I may’ve to put this relationship status as complicated.

I don’t really know if that’s right and is for me to decide. I know that despite what I’ve been through in the past and present, I learnt that we shouldn’t have to change ourselves too much that we forget to love ourselves or to know who and what we are as a person.

I may be old-fashioned to the point, yet this is what I am. I’ve learnt after being with this guy and wanting to speak my thoughts and opinions to at least try and love and accept him for everything he is. I believe he needs to change his attitude and thoughts about a lot of things which we’ve discussed between ourselves, yet that’s again up to him. I know and believe some people don’t wish to change their ways for the fear of the unknown and that they’re too comfortable in their own settings and surroundings. I’m not trying to change him and I believe I’m fine with what and who I am. What I’ve been through in life has taught me a lot of things and I‘ll do my best to strive for success and strive for what I desire in life. I’ve learnt never change someone due to high expectations from them or painting an image of what you want, as sometimes this doesn’t happen at all. We need to work on our differences and communicate. Sometimes, it’ll be great if we can at least, compromise and sacrifice a few things along the way. I know that I’ve had many times, lost a lot of self-esteem, self-image and more. I believe that in any relationship, it’s all about give and take. I’ve seen and heard as well as based on my own experiences that some people are only there for the ride and not for the good and bad times. No, it doesn’t work that way. To me, you’re in it for either everything or nothing at all.

 

Rising & Defeating the Bully/Bullies

Rising & Defeating the Bully/Bullies

We all had once in our lives, been victims of bullies, and it’s unfair and unjust for us to get bullied. There are some questions that we’ll generally tend to ask ourselves, “Do we ask to get bullied?” “Do we’ve a label on our forehead to pick on us at all times?” “Is there a few labels on our forehead that we’re unaware of?”

There are many ignorant people out there that lack empathy. It really amazes and surprises me why they think it’ll be okay to pick on someone that’s different? Why do many of these ignorant folks choose to think and act this way toward others? Do they’ve anything better for them to do or say?

To me bullying is like a form of a “Hate speech” towards others and this “Hate speech” declaring to others that they’re better and smarter than them. Some people tend to think that they’ve got the power and control over everything in their lives. The question is that, is their behaviour tolerated and accepted by me or others around me? There are many different forms and types of bullying out there today than ever before. There are many different attack strategies that are used to bully others. However, there’s no end in sight apparently to these attack strategies, yet it needs to be stopped.

Bullies, to me, are cowards, and are insecure about themselves, as well as being jealous of others and think that it’s okay to bully them, especially if others around them are different. I found that I was being bullied because I was different. I feel that those that bully mayn’t have anything in their lives, and nothing to stand on. Yet, they’re losing everything in their grasp and sight. To what they’re losing; their grasp and sight would be as I said before, power and control over everything in their lives.

I’m writing as a voice to be heard and speaking from the heart, as well as seeking out a change in everything happening in our society. No matter what it is, we should be focusing on making a difference and change. Again, back to the question at hand, should this behaviour and actions towards me be accepted and tolerated? No way! I didn’t give you permission to bully me. I didn’t give you permission to label me! We all need to develop a thick skin, to be strong in ourselves.

Today, the truth and reality is that many people get away with too much and want to have power and control over everything.

The truth of it all is based on FEAR. People that fear the power of control are the ones that are avoiding love and empathy. The truth and reality here is that, fear is so strong that anyone that has it, it’ll be crippled by it. Despite that, many of us will hide away their actual feelings and emotions. We need to realize that people will attack us; no matter what their reasons behind it all. We need to ignore them and remove the fuel in the fire. I would look into the bullies’ eyes and remain calm to ask them the questions like, “What’s your problem and why are you bullying me?” If that doesn’t work, I would walk away as it takes more courage to walk away than to fight someone. I’ll look them in the eyes and think and say to me; “Enough is enough. I’m not going to accept anything like this from you anymore.” “I’m going to start loving myself more, as am worth more than this bully or bullies that are bullying me.” Also, to love others around me that deserves my love and attention. Love is a stronger force to hate and that love has power, and can conquer all things.

People on the Autism Spectrum however, will always be a threat to others being different to them. They are threats to people, because Autistics are loving and empathetic towards others around them that’ll come to them into their social circle as friends or enemies. What’s achieved in life is attaining love and power. We love ourselves to know the differences in every situation that we face and that, many of us that walk in the power of love will also be walking in truth. Knowing this as well as walking in our shoes based on our everyday experiences, is all that matters and should matter to this day. We are a threat to these bullies, and they’ll lose their battle and fight of power and control. I believe however, that the truth will prevail and stand out in the best and test of time.

Bullies will mirror themselves into you, and in reality they’re blind to see what they’re doing and saying to us is wrong. Even though they may know, they just in some ways deny it all. We need to remember that, they’re the problem not us. At that time, I kept on thinking to myself what was wrong with me, if I say something or did something wrong?

I’ve been accustomed to being bullied and threatened to a point of thinking that it was the norm to accept this sort of behaviour. I couldn’t accept it anymore, and I decided to make a stand and tell my story. I kept on hiding and lying to myself that it was okay, when in reality it wasn’t, and it was affecting everything around me and about me. I believe however that, bullies tend to prey most on the weakest and most vulnerable of their preys. I believe also, that genuine self-love and confidence can be used to help others like me. We know what’s true for us. Bullies will and can tend to bully us about our pasts. Yet, the past is not who and what we are, as the past can’t define us. It just teaches us what’s come in life and to learn from the past mistakes and more. I however, now have chosen not to be a victim, as I choose to become a victor and I’m healing slowly. My old wounds and scars sometimes do show, despite me putting on a brave face and more. I want to be a voice that’ll be heard and not just ignored. Those who allow themselves to become victims of bullying do tend to go on a path of self-harm, self-destruction, addictions and more. I pray and hope that what I’m writing will help the readers know more about me and more importantly be able to see what life’s like, for an Aspie. I would like to teach people about self-love and to embrace each other’s differences. Again as I said or wrote before, that this is all about a “Hate speech” that bullies do, and despite me drowning in all the questions and blinded to what was going on, I believe that I’m beautiful, courageous and strong. What I went through is real, and that was my reality. I decided to change and make a difference.

We need to make a stand today that enough is enough, and not to let the bullies that come in our lives to take and ruin everything. I believe that I can make a difference and a stand, the bullies. And I believe also wholeheartedly that I can and will achieve everything I want in life.

As I said earlier, I got bullied at school like any other young child. I felt that, when I read too much, I may put myself either behind or ahead of the classes that I attended, as I loved to learn and read about everything that I can get within my grasp. When you are different, you tend to think that the world is also against you in one way or another. Yet, it can be a frightening place. But if you can find some people that you can trust and rely on at that moment, everything will make sense, despite it being a scary place to be. Yes, like any other child, I did have so many questions that I felt needed to be asked and answered. Yet, I thought that it was alright just to hold myself from them. I did tend to have so many questions swimming inside my brain like a few fishes swimming in a clear river waiting to be caught by a fisherman. I felt while I was alone and being bullied sometimes, that it was good to try and stand up against these bullies and that was no exception for me when I was in high school. I was defending myself from a few people then. I wouldn’t call myself a bully nor a victim. I would call myself at that time, someone getting sick and tired of being picked on. Being different, trying to make sense of the world was hard enough for me. Trying to make sense of the world about what I was supposed to be and become in the near future.

Of all the pressures that were around me at the time, trying to fit in and trying to be popular or some other labels on me were hard enough. Little did I know while growing up that, having these labels wasn’t for me and that, it damaged my self-esteem and self-confidence. This will be the same for most girls and young woman growing up. No child should be bullied or become a victim to this and many more of indifferences that occur in the world today.

We need to know who and what we are today in our society, as what we are today can play an important part someone’s life. No matter what dreams, goals and aspirations that we’ve got, the giants will always attack us one way or another. Instead of saying to ourselves, “Why me?” Say “Challenge me.” To the bullies that come to us and bully us, try not show anger, bitterness or hate. Instead, do the opposite effect of the “Ripple Effect.” This Means; to show that you care and love the bullies. Yes, I’m hearing you all say; “Easier said than done.”

Yet, once you do start forgiving them, you’ll feel a lot better within yourself and have inner peace, inner strength and inner hope. You’ll also have inner peace about your past and present. You’ll then therefore, be ready for your future, or whatever it is that life will offer you.

 

We Have the Power and Choice to Overcome Depression

We Have the Power and Choice to Overcome Depression

We all have our good days and bad days. Some can be bright, and some can be dull and dark. Sometimes, we feel that we cannot seem to get the answers that we are looking for, or even if we cannot get up in the mornings, just to face and seize the day to the point that we feel so happy and ready for our day.

We feel so confident to the point that will say we can do this and conquer our day, no matter what is going to be thrown at us. Also, that we are conquerors and winners, and we  will not let  Depression come in to steal or rob us of our day or what is lying ahead of us. There will be some other times we may just want to stay in bed. Sometimes, we need to realise that, despite what we are going  through, everyone has their own personal struggles, and that some are silently struggling with what they are facing. Everyone is different in how they face their battles and go about their everyday activities. We all know that sometimes, we may have days that will not  go accordingly to plan or just fall into a right pile of mud and that we are stuck in that mud for a time. Some days, we feel so defeated to the point that we just want to give up and throw in the towel. No matter how big or small the struggle that we are facing is, we tend to let it take over us spiritually, mentally and physically and, that we do not or  may not know how to get out of it.

Sometimes, when we get up in the mornings, we do not wish to be up and we will tend to question ourselves just like I do. “Why did I wake up in the first place, what is the main reason or goal for me today as I am now  awake? I am trying to get rid of all the negativities that clouds over my judgement and perception of what and how I feel about myself, as I believe that we all can recycle our negatives and turn them around to positives and not to be too hard on ourselves. We need to remember that there may be days that we will not get the answers that we are seeking for or reaching out for, and that sometimes, there are hidden messages. Sometimes, some messages are so obvious and right there slap bang in front of our faces (figuratively speaking). We can reflect and rewind to the mess and confront the mess that had been made, so that we can tackle it head on.  We have all got  have the power to say no and power to make our own decisions in our lives, that despite the decision we make, there will always be some circumstances that we face as repercussion.

We need to remember that, no matter what, we can be conquerors. Although, everyone’s life is a journey and everyone that goes through will take time and that life should be enjoyed and not rushed. Some people need to remember that there will be people that are not on the same page with them

Letter to My Depression: Dear Depression, I Will Not Let You Control My Life

Letter to My Depression: Dear Depression, I Will Not Let You Control My Life 

Just a little side note:

Before I begin, these letter that will be on my series for the “Dear….” that some of these were written a long time ago and all that we need to express ourselves one way or another- be it through our videos, writing and more.

Yes! Some of the topics I may choose to write and share with the world may be touchy yet it needs to be shared from what I have been through along with many others that may have as well, My main purpose here is that we can learn from each other and to grow more in each other – as a reader and writer. I feel in my heart right now that some of these everyday topics that we choose to sweep under the carpet or under our feet, to ignore them or to just deny the fact that it is not happening but in fact let us be REAL here IT IS HAPPENING. Whatever is happening in our lives, we need to question, “Why are they acting this way?” How are they really feeling?” etc. We cannot always blame others for our thoughts, actions and circumstances as we need to understand and see it from a bigger picture. With this one and many more that I wish to share, however besides it being touchy that I pray and hope that it does shed some light and encouragement to let you all know that we are not alone!!

Let us now begin this letter,

Hello!

I remember the very first time when you came into my life, which was from the very beginning. Growing up as a sweet, young, innocent, bubbly girl that was full of energy and spirit. A sweet young and innocent girl growing up to not knowing what is going to happen, and you came in secretly into my life without any reason or my permission to the changes that were about to happen. I was growing up as a sweet, young and innocent girl, in a world full of unfamiliarities as well as uncertainties with broken dreams and promises. However, the first time we met you were cleverly hidden and disguised under me as a mask full of different emotions which I would show to the world. While you were cleverly hidden, you did not even surface, and I was at that time, ignoring the signs and symptoms of what you will bring, despite being at a tender young age of eight. I was always a happy, young-spirited, free-willed child that was bubbly in character and putting on the brave face, regardless of what it would be or could be as I had so much energy to burn.

The second time we met, Depression, was when I was in my pre-teens, trying to fit in and blend in with the crowd that I was associating and hanging with. I was then, however trying to act like somebody who I was not when a few of these sweet nothings and some basic name calling started to creep into my mind and creating so much doubt, fear, insecurities and uncertainties to who and what I am and was at that young age. I even felt my mind and body weren’t mine and that, they belonged to someone else. But, I now know and believed that this disease is incurable, but is manageable to a degree.

After having you in my life, it felt like I was in a deep and dark hole with no light. I fought myself and cried to myself at night, with tears streaming down my cheeks and face staining my pillow due to the torture of your sweet nothings and lies that you were feeding me.

I will say this to you that “Depression, you were a childhood friend to me, despite giving me so many hassles, drama, heartaches, heartbreaks and other mixed feelings just to basically give you full control of my life. It got me wondering when it was ever going to stop.”

In the end, I made it my choice to have you in my life and to control me. At midnight, a small silent voice inside of me, as well as a sharp tongue that was like a double-edged sword started penetrating deeper into my thoughts. It was you that was feeding me again with the sweet nothings, lies and more. You robbed me of everything that I had, and once knew and pretended you had the answers for everything to what I was going through, as I was battling and fighting this battle and struggle on my own. I felt while I was in my pre-teens, that I was ready to give up and give in to your wishes and commands, Depression.

I questioned myself, “Do I dare give in and give up?” While you were giving me false hope and false messages of whatever it was at that given moment of time I realised it wasn’t me.

I began to feel very sick and weak, and everything around me that started to fall out, I couldn’t grasp any more as it was out of sight and reach. The reality of me losing this battle that was never so strong.

While in my darkest moment, I was on a suicidal frenzy with you just the thought of me wanting out and pull the plug as well as quitting my fight to you. Yes, I did try to attempt to end my life during Depression, however and luckily, I had my loving and devoted parents by me for support. Yes, despite making their life hell, yet they still stood by me and to this day, they still are standing tall and strong by me, no matter what I am  going through or facing at that moment of time.

All the negative thoughts and sweet nothings that you poisoned me with over the years, fell back into my mind again as I kept crying myself to sleep at night, as so many countless nights I could not sleep through the tears of emotions of mine. I was trying to cope with the never-ending battle and cycle of mine with loneliness and no friends again; you were my friend as you then became the authority and a main source of my life, Depression. I was still stuck in negative thoughts that were growing so fast that then ended up clouding my judgement and perception of life, and living my life how I wanted to live it.

Again, you keep coming into my life unexpectedly, time and time again with sweet nothings, lies and false hopes saying; “No one is going to love you”, “You are nothing”, “You are worthless” and more. Meanwhile, I was battling with these thoughts day in and day out, yet now I believe that there is a brighter future and that, there is hope and light at the end of the darkest tunnel of mine as well as thinking that there will be someone out there for me that will love me for me despite what I may be facing or struggling with. Depression, what you have put me through was a house full of lies, feeding my mind, soul and spirit. I felt so stupid enough to give you the time of day as well as giving to you what you wanted from me in my weakest times and moments, as well as then becoming a slave to you. This illness can do everything it wants at any moment of time or day just by giving up my power to you and more importantly, the authority to just give you what you wanted, just to keep you satisfied.

The other set of emotions I was feeling at this moment of time will not cease or be quiet and calm as you overtook me and my life, yet I will admit Depression that you did create so many fears in my life. Depression, you know that you have a story of you to share and tell in this day and age. I shall now stand up against you. I believe that I am someone who has a vision, dreams and goals in my life which I believe I can achieve. Depression, despite being in my life you cannot and will not have me by having the power and authority in me. I do not now forever dwell on my past, regardless of you being there and what I have been through and struggled with. I am worthy of love, I am being be cared for, I am  worthy to be a princess, I am now worthy to let go of anything that is not  a part of me which is holding me down and out of my life. I am now worthy to let go of anything that you were clouding me; the doubts, lies and uncertainties as I take charge of my life. I am  now starting and will begin now to forgive myself as well as giving myself a chance to heal from whatever had been in the way of my healing, and to allow myself to be a better person as, well as being stronger in the mind, spirit and soul. I am  now forgiving myself and allowing myself to be stronger and better. I have had so many guys that have come in and out of my life just because you were feeding me so much lies and insecurities, as well as putting harm in the way, and I come against you right now. You however, caused havoc in my life when the guys did try to come into my life and you told me to accept that it was true love, despite some of the guys I have been with in the past. Today, I am  letting go of these ones that caused me so much grief and harm, and forgiving them; for what they did to me was wrong and unacceptable. I do not wish for anything else to be stolen in my life like peace, joy and self –worth and many more. I am starting today to rebuild everything that was lost and stolen from me. As you are in my life, I am going to take charge of my life right now, to be a better person and to love myself.

Today, Depression, I am letting you and all the negative thoughts, perception and judgement that were clouding over me to go. I will not give up and I shall and will not let this silence me. I do not know where my life is taking me to, yet I will  take a step of faith into the unknown and to trust and believe in myself, as well as starting to love myself again

Yours sincerely,

A victor and a winner.